12/22/07

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007. 1:25am
 
            So I thought we would do way more baking then we did, just from the way Grandma was talking on the phone before. All we made all day was shortbread. I felt a little bit guilty, but she did most of the work. It was kind of hard though, because there wasn’t a lot I really could do.
     I also grated cheese for her keiche. (not sure how that is spelled lol). I’m sure she’ll have awesome keiche. Most things she makes turns out really tasty. J
            We also did some shopping. I have most of my presents in boxes now at least, I still have to wrap them though, I left a big mess on Grandma’s table in the living room K dude, this is really weird, word pad is turning all my little faces I make with the keyboard into actual faces…it’s hard to explain, I’m not sure if it’ll show up when I put this in OD.
            Anywho…I did my xmas presents and dick fuck all for most of the day lol. I got grandma to watch Flicka with me…and I can’t believe it, but after seeing it three times I still cry! And it’s not even a sad ending! That’s how you know it’s a good movie!!
            I can’t believe it man…movies really impact me a lot…Flicka is one of those movies that HAS to be watched repeatedly to be reminded of its meaning and, for me, of what I want in life.
            It makes me think of the place I want to live, what I have to overcome to get there, but also makes me hold onto why I want to do it so bad, I can’t forget the reasons I’m leaving the city and living my life the way I have been the last little while. I makes me remember what is important, the people that you love the most. It’s important to keep them close to you and treat them with respect. It’s important to live life happily to the best of your ability because there’s just so much to worry about all the time, you have to find a way to be happy. It makes me think of the place I want to live, I want to be able to just go outside for a walk and find a beautiful place to rest. I want to have a horse to do that with too…it makes me excited to start a life of my own, with kids and I want a relationship. A marriage…I know it’s weird for me to say that when 2 months ago I truly was afraid of commitment.
            I guess I just want it all. But at the same time, it’s so scary! I get caught up with guys SO easily, I really really really want to find the right one! Grandpa and I were watching a show about people who had died in awful ways. Both of the people that had died were because of a man raping them or taking advantage in some way. The one girl apparently always had creepy guys with her in her room. The other was 17 when she met this guy, who was a cop. The guy was 47 or something. But she fell in love with him anyway. They got married, had a happy life for awhile, until he started beating her, putting her down and following her. She couldn’t go anywhere without him calling her 8 times (the hairdresser) or even without having him following her. She was scared to do anything because he was a cop to start with. Just after she was about to file for divorce, she went missing. The case is still under investigation, but the husband is definitely the prime suspect. But FUCK, he’s SKETCHY! And that scared me all the more because Kevin (security guard) was going to be a cop, and I can totally see him being like that. Is that not the most ridiculous thing ever?
     Man…anyways, I got to go to bed now cuz I have to go to a party at Nanny’s house tomorrow and I have to have a shower and shit tomorrow morning or it will not be pretty! Hopefully I don’t forget to bring the card for Grandma Noreen and Grandpa Kevin…
(L) you guys!
                        ~Toes

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