weddings, horror films and the apocalypse

I went to a fancy wedding this weekend. It was at the Langham in Pasadena and was really beautiful. My husband was the officiant and by the end of the evening everyone was calling him Reverend. He strongly rejects that nickname. At our wedding our friend Reverend Dave officiated. He was a Reverend, I guess, of what I don’t know. Mostly he was a “psychic” – more of an unlicensed therapist who claimed to have spirit guides. Dave died a few years ago of cancer —  a cancer brought on by his father. For real. His dad gave him cancer. I know that’s not literally possible. It’s as possible as psychic ability. But cancer is often referred to as expressing itself in the body. The only way for Dave to get away from his abusive, homophobic father was to develop terminal cancer. He couldn’t bring himself to just leave his dad — a 92 year old monster who would not die.

Oh right — see this is my problem here. This is why at parties I can see a look descend on peoples’ faces. I turn small talk to tragedy in three statements or less. I am Debbie Downer in real life. It’s just that I hate small talk and I’m always thinking. I’m happy to talk about good stuff. About big ideas. I really am. It’s just that lately there’s been so much horror in the world.

I’m working on a horror film at the moment. I need to go see Susperia and Halloween. My favorite film of the year thus far was Hereditary. I’m always biased in favor of AFI alumi films. But I thought it was really fantastic. Probably not as intense on video, but still, a great film if you like horror. It is, however, one of those horror films that will mess you up for 2 weeks — especially if you scare easily. I’m not that person. Jaded? I guess but also, being an atheist kind of eliminates the fear of the supernatural. Fear is often about the future — what could happen to you if… I watch films about the supernatural and think, “yeah, that’s not going to happen to me.” If you made a horror film about a fascist take over of the presidency and the subsequent racial and cultural holocaust, then I’d probably be pretty freaked out. Handmaid’s Tale, for example, that shit keeps me up at night.

Speaking of staying up at night. Last night I had a dream that I was at a dinner party with my brothers and sisters in law and their children. They were in another room watching TV as we calmly and sadly discussed the fact that the world was dying and there was nothing we could do about it.

Whomp whomp.