no sale so far

 So the TV series — the one I wrote last year just after my surgery and before I reinjured my back has not sold. We’ve been passed on by ABC and NBC. We were sort of a shoe-in for NBC, so I thought. The new president said that he liked the writing but he’s looking for something "bigger." I guess by bigger he means more of a broad comedy? Not sure. I’m disappointed but not that disappointed oddly enough. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care what happens to the scripts — I just enjoy writing them (for the most part.) I’m not sure what the pass at ABC was based on. We’re still out to CBS and FOX — there’s little chance that CBS would do this show and FOX, maybe, but it’s political so who knows. Oh, I should mention, this is the sitcom set in the world of right wing talk radio, not the show that I described as "Glee meets Mad Men in the 1980’s".
The agents are going back to what I originally wanted to do. We’re going out to TV Land, TBS, and USA. I figured our best shot was in the world of basic cable. If we have a shot at all. And as for the "Glee Meets Mad Men in the 1980’s" idea, that one’s still on hold. The producer hasn’t closed the deal for the rights to the book and the author of the book wants to read scripts from all the writers in consideration. 
What else? I sent a treatment for a long overdue rewrite to the director/co-writer of a script we sold to Paramount back in 2008. Yep, I’ve owed Paramount a draft since 2008. Not that I’m the kind of writer who hands things in 2+ years late. Not at all. Jacob’s film "The Details" got greenlit shortly after we handed in the 2nd draft of "My Own Worst Enemy" to Paramount. So he was off directing, editing, etc for two years and could not work on the project. Until we hand in the 3rd draft I am still owed 1/3rd of my fee. Anyhow, a lot can change in 2+ years and the script has been totally reinvented. For the better in my opinion. It went from being a political thriller a-la Babel to more of a Kaufmanesque satire in the vein of "Eternal Sunshine." It’s a much smarter, fun approach to the material. Anyhow, long story short, I sent the treatment to Jacob last week and he emailed me today saying he was reading it. I’m actually pretty glad he’s reading it now — he’s in a good mood. "The Details" sold at Sundance for $9 Million. Not bad for a little indie film. He has a great cast though, Laura Linney and Tobey McGuire — which helps. 
B, with whom I wrote the TV series that has gone unsold, just got a gig directing a feature written by Chris Coffer. It’s called "Struck by Lightning." I really should read it but I’m feeling lazy. Especially because the script is good and they don’t need a rewrite! 
And my back. Let’s see. My back is okay-ish. One never knows. I think I’m getting better, but I’m still really weak and I have a lot of pain in my leg. Well, not a lot. More than none, shall we say. I can’t really stand for that long. About half an hour. Sometimes it feels like my leg’s on fire. I get pins and needles a lot. I’m not really sure how it’s going to turn out. I keep thinking I’m going to wind up with permanent nerve damage. Maybe I won’t. I’m not a psychic. I’m not supposed to have any sugar but I keep sneaking cookies. So lame. Then the inflammation gets worse and I stop eating sugar for a few days. I’m just stupid about this. I have this sweet tooth and now that my depression has lifted I’ve got an appetite so I’m all snacky. I have managed to stay away from the caffeine. That’s good because that really won’t help me heal. I guess I’ve just gotten used to my shut-in lifestyle. I hope I’ll be able to travel again someday. It would be nice to maybe go somewhere. D just got back from Amsterdam tonight. He was there for a show that opened up by one of the artists he represents at Gagosian. I’m really envious of people who can sit on a plane for 11 hours and then walk in relative comfort and freedom from pain.
But as I said, I’m no longer depressed — not deeply depressed. Like I’m not having fantasies of hanging myself from the bars on the bedroom window in the back yard anymore. Yeah, that was fun. I’m more in a "if I got hit by a bus I wouldn’t mind" sort of phase. It’s less actively depressed, less of a life ending planning phase and more of a shitty life living acceptance phase. It’s sort of hard for me to imagine that things will ever really get better — I know lots of people recover from this with relatively few complications. My case is a little worse than the average case so I have a higher statistical chance of not making a good recovery. And I know I shouldn’t dwell on all this. I should try to be positive but that’s asking the Zebra to change his stripes. I live with lowered expectations. When i was younger I felt my whole life was this adventure and then sometime around 35 I peaked and it’s kind of been a series of disappointments and mishaps ever since. Voila. 
Still though, it could be worse. It could always be worse.