grown men in costumes acting out

I’m watching men, who look like me, decked out in militia cosplay outfits, carrying confederate battle flags inside of the capitol building. No sense of irony as they carry the flag of the treasonous confederacy to represent their supposed defense of…? What? Trump? He’s garbage and this violence, this chaos is on his hands. Get Covid, like a scorching hot case of it. A coup attempt stirred up by failed game show host. I read someone’s dramatic post about how they fear their freedoms are going to be taken away with Biden winning and the senate going to the Dems. For four years I’ve watched as the community around me was terrorized by ICE. I’ve endured proud boys and militia groups driving into my city and beating people up in their neighborhoods. I’ve seen hate crimes spike, unemployment go through the roof, my city turned into a homeless encampment all while your supposed movement made America great again? We’re fucking ruined like an Atlantic City Casino run by your game show host. Save your dramatics and take a good hard look in the mirror. All your religious bigotry and fear got us here.

Winter break is almost over and I start back to work next week. I am still mentally exhausted. This is the first actual week I’ve had off. I worked all through the end of December just to get caught up. I’m exhausted. This year. I’m trying to gin up enthusiasm for going back to work next week. It gets harder every time. Ugh. I’m that person.

Hey my weightlifting rack arrived! Now I just have to wait another month for my weights. It’s easy to get a rack but weights are still a 2 month wait. I don’t think my gym is ever going to re-open and even if it did, I don’t know how I feel about ever going back. Even after I get the vaccine, something is broken. We’re in a post-hugging as hello world. Good. I’m not mad about that at all. Some of my straight guy friends were even giving me kisses on the cheek — okay, thanks for the show of support, but let’s not get crazy. I like hugs and kisses but let’s keep it to a short list — it’s going to take me a minute to trust handshakes again.

No new normal. No normal. Just bonkers.