Girl, no.

What a strange week. We had D’s sister her husband plus two kids here for a week. I love them. They’re great people. Kind, generous and easy going. The girls are 15 and 17 which I know can be “that age” but my nieces are book loving, talkative, outspoken feminists with razor sharp wit. They’re a joy to be around because of how they see and interact with the world. They have nut allergies which makes food a pain but otherwise they’re a joy. I finally got to ride one of those Bird scooters I’ve been seeing all over the city and promptly ate it five seconds into my first ride. I’d forgotten to put up the kick stand. Duh! Second go-round was much better.

They left yesterday morning. I had a meeting at school with one of my students. Then when I came home there helicopters and sirens all over the place. The Trader Joe’s down the street was in the midst of a hostage stand off. D was on his way to the MAK foundation’s tennis competition at the Sheets/Goldstein House (you’ve seen it — it’s a classic Bond villain house). Anyhow, I texted him about the stand off and he freaked out. “Stay inside!” Uh, okay — thanks for the helpful tip! I watched it from my den window with binoculars. Then I started to get paranoid that bullets could hit me. Can bullets travel that far? I’m like half a mile from the TJ’s. So I went downstairs and saw that it was on MSNBC. I texted my mom, “Hey mom, turn on MSNBC, I’m on TV!!!” She knows this Trader Joe’s from her visits to LA. It was mean, yes — but my mom takes the bait every time. I had to call her to calm her down. In 1997 when the Hale Bop comet cult killed themselves she called me to make sure I wasn’t a part of it. For real. Mom.