doughnuts and digital cable celebrities

I took this 3D picture of the Nelson bubble lamp hanging over my dining table. It’s my favorite so far.

So Blue Star Doughnuts opened up in my neighborhood. This is a serious problem. First of all, the doughnuts are $3.75 each. I mean, maybe that’s a good thing that they’re so high because the second issue, the bigger problem is that these are the best G.D. doughnuts I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t need a doughnut this good within a thousand miles of me. I had to pull over because I realized the doughnut was demanding my full attention. I had a buttermilk with raspberry and rosemary glaze. It was transcendent. Then I had a buttermilk chocolate cake doughnut with vanilla glaze an it was somehow even better. They both had a thick, crunchy crust, almost like a bread crust, with a perfect cake interior. They’re enormous — and by the time I’d finished the 2nd one I was alarmed and disgusted with myself — feeling my face flush with insulin. These are life ruining doughnuts. Basically they’re ten times worse than being hooked on opioids and the FDA needs to step in and ban them. Soon I will be morbidly obese and a camera crew from Discovery Health will be following my every move for their new show, “Diet or Die.” That’s not really a show on Discovery Health, but it could be, right?

I go to the trainers 2 times a week and the gym another 4 times a week on my own. The trainers operate out of a garage here in the neighborhood. They’re great. I’ve been going there for years. Weirdly there are a bunch of celebrities there. Not fancy famous celebrities, but work-a-day celebrities. Folks with shows you’ve probably seen on Comedy Central or TBS. They’re some of my favorite shows, so it all works out — training next people who I was just watching the night before on TV. I love Broad City, Nathan For You, Search Party and Silicone Valley — and seeing some of the stars* of these shows in their  athleisure  ensembles has become a part of my weekly routine. The band Chromatics works out there as well — I really like them, especially their segments on “Twin Peaks: The Return.” Lots of writers, too — also cool for me to chit chat about who’s doing what and with whom. But I’m a C list writer, maybe C minus in terms of my employability/earnings — nevertheless, it beats a sharp stick in the eye. Point of story, L.A. gets a really bad rap and I’m fine with that. We’ve got a horrible homeless situation — like 50k homeless and no urgency to house them because we don’t have freezing weather. But still, most days I feel like I live in paradise.

Yesterday I pitched a series adaptation to a producer that is like Love Boat but in a BnB. It’s based on a book she set up with one of the streaming services. She loved the pitch and I’m the 3rd writer she’s gone to with the book. She wants me to go into the streaming service now. So I’m approved to apply for the job, I guess you could say. We shall see. It’s set in Italy and would be amazing if it got picked up because I’d go to Italy to produce my episodes. Did you know that there’s a huge BnB business in Italy, hosting people in places that were used to torture during the inquisition?

We had friends over for dinner last night. It’s humid but cooled off enough to eat under the pergola. Our friend did the music for this documentary that just premiered at Sundance this year. The documentary is about the artist Yayoi Kusama and took 12 years to make. If you don’t know Kusama’s work you’re in for a treat. She’s amazing.