waste

My doctor told me last week i may not be able to ever have kids..and if i do manage to somehow get knocked up i will most likely miscarry..and if by some stroke of luck i didn’t i will have to have a c-section..

in those few moments my whole identity was taken from me, just like when i lost my job last year..ring the bell I’m done..

all my life my only dream was to be a mother..to hold my baby in my arms..I am crushed..I looked into adoption but i don’t make enough..first my boss took away the one thing that made sense to me..my work..then my doctor took away the one thing I was looking forward to.. my child

my life seems nothing more than a waste.

i feel like ending it..i dont think i’ll be missed..who would miss someone as useless as me?

this has gone off the rails.

*angel*