Rapid Cycling/Mixed State

So the type of Bipolar Disorder that I suffer from is Mixed Episodes.

This means that I can be both Manic and Depressed at the same time.  Most of the time I will be down in the dumps but also have this irritable edge to me where everything gets under my skin.  This irritability is part of the Manic Cycle.

I also suffer pretty rapid cycles.  I can have days where I am depressed and then go into a manic state where I cant control myself or my thoughts.

I also suffer from Hallucinations during Mania.

I have also been know to be a "cutter".  I cut last January and before that it was years since I "cut".  I have scars to prove it…I hate them.

Living with bipolar disorder is not easy at all…it takes its tole on my relationship and every aspect of my life.  I have not worked in over 8 years due to my disorders.

The medications that they put you on have a wide range of side effects.  Effexor was by far the worst medication I have tried…it did not agree with me at all and the withdraw off of it was pure hell!