What a weekend!

Saturday night was rough.

I was downstairs lookin at the satellite when I noticed the remote for the satellte–first time I’ve seen it since the receiver was installed–and changed the channel. My sister asked me if I had the remote and I said yes. Then, they had to call Dish network and ask them to program the remote in the living room. My sister blamed me for switching the remotes. I was very upset and went to my room. First of all, I did not tough that remote in the den. I hadn’t even noticed that remote at all. Also, I gave my dad AAA batteries but he was like, ‘I don’t want no mismatched batteries’. Argh.

This was a test of my anger response. Normally, I would throw things if I was really angry. That night, I did’t throw things but I cried a little. My mom came in and asked me what was wrong and I said ‘i’m a little sleepy that’s all’. Anyway, I’m very upset at my dad and I’ll list why in a minute. I decided to not come out the next day and just hang around in my room.

The next day, my mom woke me up at 5:10 a.m. and told me I could sleep until 6. I slept until like 6:10 and grogily woke up. The ride up to church was spent reading In the Lake of the Woods by Tim O’Brien, who is the author of The Things They Carried–great book.

In the Lake of the Woods is about a couple who is vacationing in Minnesota when Kathy disappears. John Wade was a candidate for the U.S. Senate when he lost in a landslide. John is also a Vietnam veteran and is nicknamed “The Sorcerer”. It’s really good so far. I’m going to write an excerpt in here soon.

Church was pretty good. The preacher was a guest preacher and preached about the classic story of David and Goliath; it was youth day and he applied the story for the youth. After church, we went to Food Depot to buy some stuff for the cookout.

When we got home, my dad asked me a couple of things. First, he asked me if I wanted someone to come down here. I replied no. The only person I wanted down here was Trey. If Trey could come, we would play X-Box, and PS2 the whole day. Unfortuately, he couldn’t make it b/c he was at his uncle’s recepion.

Second, he asked me what size monitor I needed. I replied 17′ and I didn’t really care. Once agan, he asked me who I wanted over. My sister also asked me if something was wrong. I was thinking of coming up with some excuse like, ‘I hope we have some hamburger’ or something along those lines.

Let me backtrack for a minute.

The reason why I’m upset at my dad is because he’s a grump. If my mom ask him something, he replies in a grouchy manner. I have yet to learn anything from him like, how to change the oil in a car, how to hit (he ued to play softball), how to play basketball and pool. The only thing he’s given me is material things. I want much more than that. I had to learn pool by myself; Jocelyn’s friend Vernoy taught me how to ride a bike; I had to learn how to play basetball by myself; I played baseball without knowing how to hit properly–for some odd reason, I was a great bunter. I never ask for anything anymore. There are four rooms hooked up to Dish except mine. For four years, I didn’t have the luxury of watching satellite in my room but I didn’t complain.

Anyway, I stayed couped up in my room for a little bit. I watched Sheena and the Braves and then went to sleep. After waking up, I went to the living room and saw that my cousins didn’t have anything to watch on the satellite so I offered if they would want to watch a DVD. I put in Training Day and began to watch that. At the time, I ate a bacon cheeseburger and hotdog. I dislike having onions inside the burger. Also, I will only eat a hotdog that’s grilled.

After that, I watched the Sacramento Kings vs. the L.A. Lakers downstairs. My cousin was watching DVDs in my room. She ended up watching Rush Hour 2, Shrek, Training Day, and Jurassic Park III. Anyway, I finally got online around 10:30ish but I got off so I could watch the series finale of 24. That’s he update on my Saturday night and Sunday.

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I only eat grilled hotdogs as well, with a slice of cheese that’s it 🙂 maybe you should talk to your father about actually doing things with you???! also… I work in a group home with 4 men who are mentally retarded, it’s an awesome job, I love it sooooo so much!!

It’s weird how people get annoyed when their tv (or something about their tv) goes wrong. My Dad went nuts yesterday because, due to bad weather and bad connections, we lost most of our cable channels for about 2 hours. I’d love to see his last a week without the Tv, I hate the way it rules over him. My Dad can be a grump too, I think most Dad’s are sometimes. Maybe they get bitter as they get old

May 29, 2002

I found a similar thing with my dad- all he wanted to do was talk about finances and my goals and my life plan and stuff so finally I told him that I needed more than just that, that I wanted our relationship to be about more than just business details. It’s a bit better now, though I’d still call it a work in progress. Telling them your diary feelings might help-you can’t know till you try!

June 18, 2002

when I get extremely upet I’ve been known to break few things in my fits of rage.. learning how to control that part of me.