Unwrapping of Butterflies pt. 2

When Christmas came and went, he was worse. He forbade me from wearing shorts. His reason was that there would be perverts (meaning certain people) would look up my legs during class. Also, while everyone was wearing sandals, I was forced to wear boots. Once again, he cited that perverts would look at my feet while they were scoping in between my legs. He didn’t want me to participate in any after school activities because he thought I should concentrate on my work in school. He wanted me to call more frequent, and he forbade me from seeing my best guy friends. My guy friends were upset at me but I didn’t care. Sean was all I needed! My grades hadn’t been affected. In fact, they improved! Sean was right about not being on after school activities! On weekends, he wanted me to hang out with him and only him. Wait, let me take that back. He allowed me to hang out with his friends.

At first, I didn’t mind because I was hanging out with the cool crowd. Plus, I hear that all freshman get beat up and I couldn’t let that happen! Anyway, I remember one incident where he wanted me to smoke pot but I refused. He replied by calling me chicken! After that, he really started to abuse me. He never really hit me or anything, but he always taunted me. He would call me ‘fat’ or ‘sweet thang’. He would make fun of my butt saying stuff like ‘you smell worse than my dog’, or ‘your butt is as wide as a trailer’. My boobs were his favorite target: ‘where did you get those beans from’. You get the picture. It was horrible! I took everything he said to heart, too. There would be other times where I would walk into a room and the people in the room would start teasing me. To my defense, Sean would say something like, ‘leave my girlfriend alone’ like speeches. He knew what buttons to push to make me feel better. He would come up behind me and wrap his arms around my midsection. I would always smile and kiss his cheek. Then, he would do something very disgusting and perverted: he would slide both hands inside my pants and squeeze. I couldn’t say anything because I was the youngest, and because I was the smallest. Further, he would always say it was my fault because I kissed his cheek. What a jerk.

Anyway, I managed to hide a secret from him for a long time. I was in karate ever since I was in the 7th grade. I never told him because I felt that he shouldn’t know everything about me. In fact, very few people know that I am in karate. At the time of that incident, I was a 1st degree black belt. I couldn’t do anything because I was in fear of what he would do to me, not to mention the many people in that room who could beat me up. In short, I was scared! True, I have sparred before but in sparring, we can only have little or no contact. So if I were to hit someone in the side of the head, I would have to do it lightly. For Sean, I would have to hit him hard but I always feared that he would retaliate.

He didn’t start hitting me until the summer of my 10th grade year. He never hit my stomach, mind you, but he did hit my face, boobs, legs, and crotch. If I didn’t like what he wanted me to do, he would hit my face hard! He would squeeze my boobs and hit me in the crotch with his knee. He was also very smart and not hit me too hard in the face where a bruise would show. His main target were my eyes; in fact, all of the bruises would be under my clothes and in areas where no one could see—except the females in my gym class. Even in gym, I would never fully strip to my bra and panties. Instead, I had on another set of clothes to hide the bruises because I was too afraid to let anyone know about my pain.

Every day when I came home, I would be weary of what was to come. He was so loved by my parents, they offered him a key to the house. In fact, my parents never got in until well after 6 p.m. There would be days where I’d come in and he would be sitting in the living room and smiling at me. At times, he would be sweet and come give me a kiss but there were other times where he just assaulted me from the start. As I said, he was very smart to know where, and how hard/soft to hit. If he wanted to, he could hit me so hard to where it would look like I had had an accident.

One time, he had punched me hard in the eye. We were at school and we walked to the cafeteria together. He had his arm around me. If someone had came up to us and asked what happened to my eye, he would say, ‘we both love wrestling and we decided to wrestle. Well, Claudia got a little too excited and ran into my fist’ or something like that. The bad part is, everyone believed him! He also knew when to be sweet to me and what not. I remember times when he would hit me one minute, and would sweet talk me the next. The scary part is that he knew my parents routine. He could literally beat me up five minutes before my parents came home. He would then have me over his shoulder or something and having a smile on his face when my parents were home. If I were crying, he would say that I was upset about something and he was trying to cheer me up. After the initial greetings, he would take me to my room and order me to ‘look nice’. Basically, he wanted me to cover up any bruises that were visible. To make it worst, none of my guy friends were allowed to call me! It felt as if I was in the labyrinth with no strings to follow my way out. The chimera was following me and I was trapped!

I was deeply depressed as well. His comments became worst. I remember him dragging me to prom—yes dragging. He bought me this dress that was much too big for me. He called that dress to be my ‘fat dress’. Fat, not p-h-a-t phat. Hehe that reminds me of Chris Tucker in “Money Talks”. He calls Heather Locklear phat and not fat. Tangent oh yeah sorry…

Anyway, he dogged me the entire time we were there. He would point out to some other girl and would say, ‘you see? If I wasn’t dating you, I would be dancing with that fine girl over there’. Or he might say, ‘I wish you would drop that fat around your midsection. There’s no way I could be here dancing with someone like YOU!’ he would glare at me and stomp off leaving me crying. However, I couldn’t cry long because he would whisper, ‘you better perk up or you’re going to regret it,’. Left with no other choice, I would clam up.

I don’t know when I finally pulled out, but I felt I had enough. Actually, he was arrested for underage drinking. He only got a year because he was a minor. I felt soo glad to be free! After a while, I went back to karate. There, I met my boyfriend Victor as he told you earlier. After we first met, he kept coming back to see me. There was something about him that I loved. Perhaps because of his personality? I don’t remember. A few days later, I give him my number and we had a long conversation over the phone. The next few weeks were filled with laughter and joy. I felt that I had my life back! As for Sean, he was still in jail. Last I had checked, he was about to get out in 6 months. Anyway, Victor and I had dated a little bit when he asked me out. I backed out because I wasn’t sure if I should have thought about dating other guys when Sean was still in jail.