Barefoot & Pregnant-Inconsistency?

October 18, 2023:1013

I need to deal with something that could, and probably does appear to be inconsistent, but I kinda feel like I need to sort it out because some will say I am inconsistent and a hypocrite, or worse, call me a slut or say I am not really what I say I am when I say I am a Christian, and still had sex outside of marriage (still am), and am a sinner.  First of all, we are all sinners, all of us, including you and me.  If you disagree with me, you should feel free to no longer read my posts, because we will never reconcile our differences.  You can criticize me, and that’s fine.

I go to church every week, sometimes more often if there is youth group.  Even some in my church don’t like the fact that I had a child out of wedlock, they look down on me, because they can’t see past my sinful behavior, and sometimes I can’t see past it either.  Like, how does God love me when I have sinned, and when I continue to sin, when what we have done is to honor His will for us by being faithful to one another, and being responsible for our actions and doing all we can to live as husband and wife and raise a family?  We are delaying the act of getting married until we are both of legal age in our state, so that when we do marry, we will be in a financial position to support ourselves without living with our parents, certainly by the age of 18, but maybe sooner.

Others in my church are supportive, recognizing what we are doing, and how we are being responsible for ourselves and our child.  They love us, because they, too, recognize that “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”  Them and us included.  They don’t like the sin we committed, but love us instead and the true adults want to lead and guide us into becoming responsible adults in the church and the community.

Does it matter, if extramarital sex is a sin, whether we have a child or not?  Does it make the sin of sex outside of marriage more sinful just because I got pregnant?  Or is sex okay, as long as the girl doesn’t get pregnant?  If so, you should consider yourself a hypocrite, too.

If we love, honor and obey one another, as God requires a truly married (one flesh) to to live, isn’t that important?  Isn’t that what we should be doing as a couple?

Anyway…I needed to say that, because what we did, we did out of love for one another, and to abide by God’s plan for a man and woman (boy and girl in this case) to be bound to one another and become one flesh.  If that love we have produces a child, and we provide for and support our child in love and be responsible, what’s wrong with that.

So…we had sex.  Yes, we knew it was wrong, sinful, but it was how we pleased one another.  We wanted children, and we knew two things.  We knew we would be able to provide for them because we had both been operating businesses for over a year and were banking money.  We also knew that we wanted to be together always, were capable of producing children, starting a family, and were committed to the hard work we would encounter should I become pregnant.  What we did, we did with our eyes wide open and our minds made up that we were already committed to a future together.

I said earlier I cried when I found out I was pregnant.  I was not ashamed or upset.  I was blessed to be able to produce a child made from the love we had for one another.  I was proud we were preparing and prepared, but I also knew it was going to upset our parents for a season.  I didn’t want to cause them pain, and that hurt me.  I knew my, our decision, could be hurtful.  Fortunately for us it was not as bad as we planned, because over the many early weeks of my pregnancy we began to demonstrate our maturity and dedication to one another before we made the announcement to our parents.