Barefoot and Even More Pregnant-The Final Months

October 28, 2023

When I started 10th grade in the fall I was 26 weeks pregnant and had gained 16 pounds.  Most of the people at school did not know I was starting school pregnant, although me, Mom and my boyfriend did visit the school office during the summer.  It was already quite obvious that I was going to have a baby.  I was wearing maternity clothes basically any time I was out in public, although around the house I still wore tank tops (if they were long enough!), tee shirts (if they were big enough around my belly!), and my bikini if it was hot and we went in the pool, which I loved to do, just lying on my back and floating.  it felt good for my back, which sometimes was stiff or achy, especially as I got bigger and heavier in front.

All in all, I enjoyed the experience even more than I expected or hoped.  I considered it such a blessing to be carrying my child inside my body, knowing that is what actually God intended for me as a woman.  I guess today that might be considered hurtful or incorrect, and I certainly understand the pain that must occur when a girl can’t get pregnant or loses a baby, but there is no doubt in my mind that I am female, a girl, a woman, and am different from my boyfriend, and cannot, no matter what I do, change what I was born as into something other than a female.  Those who do may look and act like they are the other sex, but they are not.  They are lying to themselves.  And on the other subject of more than two sexes, I simply don’t accept that at all.  When my child is born it will be a boy or a girl.  Period.

Sorry, but this is my diary, and you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to.

But I have gone off the subject.  I loved my shape, even though it was sometimes odd looking or different feeling.  I love feeling the fullness and roundness of my pregnant belly, the added weight of my breasts, the nipple changes, the colostrum discharge, the swollen labia, the enlarged clitoris, the thicker thighs, widened hips.  To me they were all part of the same thing, being pregnant, becoming a mommy, carrying a growing child in my body, and being the woman of my man.

The reaction at school was mixed.  Those who truly knew me, knew that I was well prepared and loved being pregnant.  There were some girls, who supposedly were Christians, who snubbed me, not recognizing that I was still me and did something different (wrong?  maybe, sinful, yes) but I was still me.  Most were just indifferent, accepting, not judging.  I was surprised by some, who have not ever really accepted me and are (I guess) no longer friends.  That’s okay, because inside, I am at peace with God, family and true friends; anyone I had considered a bff was still a bff.  Staff was about the same as the students, although most of the staff had not known me before I got to high school (10th grade), except for two teachers who moved from the middle to the high school.

The routine of incorporating more school back into my life was a fairly easy adjustment.  The growing belly was harder to adjust to.  Just about the time I had learned a new was of putting on shoes, I’d have to change it because either my belly or my balance was different.  Some leggings and non maternity stretchy clothes no longer fit, but I loved wearing maternity things anyway.

I felt amazingly sexy while I was getting bigger, the longer I was pregnant the more I liked being pregnant, and the more easily aroused I was getting when my boyfriend and I got together for some fun.  I did find toward the end that I needed to wear a nursing bra most of my last six weeks, and nursing pads to keep my bigger and harder nipples from showing too much.  Again, fortunately maternity tops and dresses can cover some of that, but I didn’t mind at all wearing just a cami and panties around the house when it was just me and my boyfriend, or a bigger nightgown that didn’t show my nipples as much at home, especially with my “in laws”.  (More on that subject in a future post.)  It’s not that there was any problem, I loved them, but at the time they were not truly in-laws.

My last day of school for the calendar year was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was a different time.  While most of the family that we visited, or who visited us during that long weekend knew I was pregnant, they had not seen me and really had no idea how big I was getting in those final weeks.  The traveling around, even though it was not too far, was tiring for me.  I would often fall asleep in the car, leaning on my boyfriend as he held me close, and gently touched and rubbed my big, firm belly.  He loved my shape and always made me feel loved and wanted.  Sunday night I went into labor about 8pm, but it stopped around midnight.  I stayed home Monday and Tuesday, and thought about going back to school Wednesday, but just before I planned on leaving I felt another contraction, different from those lovely Braxton Hick contractions.  This one was a big intense, and by noon I was having regular contractions every 10-12 minutes, so we headed for the birthing center at the request of my OB doc.

My baby, my son, my firstborn, the son of my lover and I, was born at 2:47am Thursday December 1, 2022.  Eight pounds 15 ounces, 22 inches.  The last four hours of labor were the hardest, but while it was difficult and sometimes painful, it was so worth all the effort of pregnancy, the difficult weeks of telling everyone we were expecting, and the sometimes discomfort of those final months, when compared to holding and nursing my baby.

One of the biggest and best reasons I loved being pregnant was how much my boyfriend and I loved being together and how much we loved being intimate with each other.  We truly love each other in a very special way, we are both willing to do what it takes to please each other, and we are always touching each other (when not with our parents) in very special ways.  I love to feel his strong arms and back when we make love, I love how he loves my entire body no matter what stage of pregnancy I was in, how he kisses my tummy and is always touching it.  I love sitting in his lap between his legs and his arms around me, hands on my hands on my belly, it’s so comfy and close.  Earlier in pregnancy, before my belly got much bigger, I loved to lay next to him after making love, my leg over his middle, my head on his chest, my hand on his chest and shoulder.  Just cuddling and talking.

I have been truly blessed by God.