Trigger Happy
I got a nasty note from an OD’er that I thought was my ‘friend’ – as much as you can be, on OD. For about a year I’ve read her entries and have been in awe of her prose and way of carrying herself. I admired her.
Because the note was private, I won’t repeat it. I felt misunderstood, and I went to respond to her note only to find that she deleted me.
We ODers are special people. We write our innermost secrets and experiences and dissect and analyze… we write to others about their decisions and try to shed some light on the bigger picture.
Often, the subject matters are controversial…. sensitive…. heavy. When you put yourself out there, it’s a vulnerable state. You show your insides to people and try to trust them to be careful with you.
To realize that I was not careful with someone is a hard pill to swallow. I have the best of intentions when I interact with any of you. I care SO MUCH it’s fucking ridiculous.
I said the wrong things and there was harsh retaliation and it shouldn’t be like this. It makes me sad. My heart dropped when I read that note.
I was talking to Miss Hannah Bannanah about the misinterpretations… the narrow vision and narcissism of OD. I probably sound crazy self-centered when I write. We write about our point of view, the affect it has on us… it’s so small. There is so much more to life than our take on it… which is not meant to discount our thoughts because WE DO MATTER….
I’m not entirely sure what my point is. I feel like I need to take a break. I bet things wouldn’t be as big of a deal as they are if I wasn’t picking apart every situation/every thought/every wish. In addition, I clearly can’t handle feeling misunderstood and I know I’ve misrepresented myself and feel that it’s too easy to do so.
Considering the sensitive nature of our writing, one misstep is liable to break a heart. It is too easy.
Maybe I’ll start reading a book to fill my time. Focus on a fake world rather than my own.
Obviously I have no idea what the note was about – but regardless, I hope I can counteract some of it with the following: I read you (and very much enjoy) because I love your blunt courage in saying your own absolute truth. I’m sorry someone felt the need to spew their own crap onto you. I can’t imagine why else someone would go as far to both leave a nasty note, then to unfriend unless something triggered their own insecurities/issues. For every one of “those” out there, I’m willing to bet there’s a handful more of “me’s”.
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Frig. Why people can’t follow the good ol’ “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all”. I’m sure there are sometimes when you want to let your opinion fly – and its ALWAYS easier online then if you were standing in front of someone pouring your heart out. Besides, when I read you, I relate. And I don’t feel so crazy (not that you’re crazy). But yeah. You know what I mean.
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You too? This same shit happened to me like a week ago. I’m curious how your misunderstanding went. I’m such a snoop! But I suppose its nice of you not to tell everybody, lol.
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Ive been an avid reader of u for quite sometime I just don’t often note! I think this person if an avid reader of u should know your personality and not take what u say out of context! I appreciate u and what u write! Continue to be u! I’m on here to get my thoughts out and never take what anyone says personally.
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well our diaries are very real and to me, this is one of the rare places i actually feel comfortable enough to speak my mind – sometimes harshly i guess. I’m a shy and non-confrontational person and I think OD is prob one of the best places to be honest because we’re all here to write about our lives and fears and scandals! But I guess it’s easy to forget if you don’t like what you hear you can…
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..easily cut that person out. i once deleted someone. I read them for a year or so and they started writing entries about their pet and they were like abusing their pet. So i straight up told them they sholudn’t have gotten a dog if they were going to treat it like shit! i mean it was animal abuse! she got all pissed off and we blocked each other. but wtf man.. be humane to your animals!
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I’ve had a couple of OD people explode at me and delete. I’ve actually had crying fits about it and..that’s a difficult thing to explain to a husband who doesn’t OD. This too shall pass. It’s all good. The worst thing about the internet is that we can’t hear tone.
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aw man, i’m sorry love. i too, love reading you. and if i’m being perfectly honest, i enjoy your notes and honesty even more. i appreciate your caring and i know others feel the same. if you need to take a break, you need to take a break. but i hope its short and i hope you at least read. because goddamnit i need you right now. 😛
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haha I swear it’s OD war season. It’s simply too easy to butt heads on this site. Although you’d figure with enough respect and understanding.. and developed friendships, some people would know how to play nice. I don’t think you should take a break bc I like reading you, dammit! 😉 I don’t know what went down exactly, but there’s always a good constructive way to take it.
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I hate private notes. But I guess even a regular note is a weird form of communication, even more prone to misinterpretation than emails/IMs/etc. Always love your entries, they are funny and candid and I think seem to be beneficial for you to get things down…so I hope the break isn’t a long one…
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🙁
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Pouring your heart out on the internet or in the real world is always up to chance. But I don’t think you should ever sensor yourself for fear of others opinions, feelings or thoughts. You thought or felt what you did because that is YOUR point of view. No harm there. Unless you were personally lashing out at someone. But I think you should just brush it off. Just like a friend in real life, the
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…ones that really matter wont judge you and love you for who you are. Anyone that’s stuck around is all that matters.
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🙁
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I’m sorry 🙁 We love you!
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