Let it go

A few things.

I know I’ve been all introspective and bigger-picture because of the whole ‘mean note’ thing but I think I’m over it now. It’s not that I doubt myself and what I said or how I said it, it was just the injustice of not being able to respond to the note at all. To clear my name. But I guess, in the long run, it doesn’t matter.

Because I wasn’t mean. I wasn’t going over the boundary. She is clearly touchy about that particular aspect of her life and couldn’t handle someone saying ANYTHING – and the fact that she was outwardly rude in return is just fucking mean.

It’s been clear that she is having some issues in her personal life (which is completely acceptable, who hasn’t??) so I guess I was trying to relate to her at the wrong time and she blew up.

Life is too short to be mean. Yesterday I had someone call my work and they were nice with a pleasant tone in their voice. And I just thought, how awesome is this?! We deal with impatience and selfishness and misunderstandings every day, and my day is instantly lifted up just by the pleasantness of someone on the other end of the phone with me.

I’ve had assholes call the office, and it’s pretty easy to brush them off and be like, “What’s that guy’s problem?” and move on. But to be NICE, that really affects someone in a positive way.

And isn’t it just easier to be nice? I feel it is more difficult to be mean… I hate to hurt people, to make them feel bad, either when I know them or don’t know them. So to be mean, I’d have to really go outside my comfort zone. And shouldn’t everyone be that way? Just because you don’t know someone doesn’t mean you don’t have to care about them.

I have a coworker who is constantly a grump and goes out of her way to not speak to me. I just think, how terrible of an existence. To be so grumpy. She must be so sad and unhappy to feel the need to outwardly ignore me and avoid me. There’s no reason, just someone to target.

How sad.

I learned a long time ago that hating someone is just giving them free rent in your head. If you hate someone, they mean more to you than you mean to them. Which is the opposite goal. Hate just takes so much work…. isn’t it easier to let it go? Move on? Forgive?

Don’t get me wrong, I know how to hold a grudge. But it’s never the central focus of my being. And even if I hold a grudge or don’t like someone (hello coworkers) I am still pleasant to them. Do you know how much more complicated my daily life would be if I was constantly stepping on toes, hurting feelings, making relationships awkward, putting wrenches in the work flow? Being crabby to someone seems like the easiest way because you’re not holding your tongue, not heeding any tolerance, but in the end it just makes everything so much more difficult.

Sometimes the easy way out turns into the hardest way.

Oh, PS, this doesn’t count if there’s a fresh wound. No way, Jose. I am a huge advocate of saying your peace. Letting it out. Say what you feel. Don’t hold anything back if you’ve been betrayed. If someone’s been an asshole to you, then you can be one right back. But don’t hold onto it, don’t let it ruin your day. Being strong against adversity does not mean being passive. And letting it go at some point, freeing the issue into the world, does not make you weak. We fight our battles until they’re done, then walk away with our heads held high and onto the next thing.

There is so much freedom in carrying a light load. Have you ever seen how unattractive someone is when they’re disgruntled, crabby, quick to judge? Yucky. No thank you.

Yoga tonight. I need to feel the zen. Namaste, babes.