Hippy Crush

Last night after cleaning the apartments, I went to the corner store by my work and bought a pack of cigarettes before walking to my massage appointment. The long-haired baby-faced hippy was working. I’d seen him before. He is cute, in the crusty do-you-even-shower I-bet-you’re-a-vegetarian kind of way. His face is like an angel’s.

I’m fairly shy, surprise surprise, so I don’t flirt very well. It’s hard for me to put myself out there. I saw that he had one earbud in, and I had one earbud in, the other dangling at our sides. I pointed to my ear and said, “Matching…” and smiled, he smiled, and got my cigs and I left.

On my walk back from my massage, I mustered up some courage. I know the hippy smokes weed, I’ve seen him smoking a joint outside the store. So I went back in, hair all sexed up from my massage, and asked for rolling papers. Then I said, “You smoke weed, right?” He laughed and said, “Yeah….” I said, “I’ve never rolled a joint before (LIE)… do you have any tips?” His face lit up and he went on and on about practice and trial and error and finally perfection. I said, “I’ve rolled blunts before…” He said, “Blunts are harder to work with, more real estate to deal with” … I smiled, because I love it when people use the term ‘real estate’ to talk about things other than houses.

We chatted for a little bit longer, about smoking, and I said, “Okay well, I’ll let you know how it works out” Smiled, and left. I went home and rolled a perfect joint. I plan to report the results to my hippy crush.

I would seriously like to sex him. Sex him hard. But you never know what their situation is, do you? He could have a girlfriend. He could be engaged. It’s not as easy as looking at someone’s facebook relationship status in the real world. They don’t wear that shit on their foreheads.

The one thing I have going for me in this situation, which allows me to be forthcoming and blunt, is that I’m basically out of his league times 10. But anyone who knows me knows I have unconventional taste in men. I traditionally ‘date down’ which is probably a defensive mechanism because it keeps me from being dumped/not feeling good enough. Although, this backfired with G. He dumped me, but regretted it SO HARD CORE that I think it was kind of worth it in the long run.

Oooo I sound like a bitch. Keepin’ it real.

Will was the only dude I’ve dated that was on the same level as me. I felt we were equals from the beginning. I still feel like we’re equals, but like, a million miles away from each other.

Wouldn’t it be radical if in a week, I write about the sex I had with Hippy Crush? And how AWESOME it was??

I haven’t had awesome sex for about 3.5 years. Greg was terrible, TERRIBLE at sex. He had a really nice dick, slightly larger than average, but he had NO IDEA how to use it or how to prolong the use of it. Sex lasted maybe 4 minutes tops. Any time I was on top, he wouldn’t match my rhythm so it was awkward and uncomfortable. And…. his balls smelled. Mostly because he only took showers once every couple/few days. And rode his bicycle 20 miles a day. Gross. Yuck.

He did really like me, in hindsight. He always took the position of the girl though… he’d cuddle up to me, I’d have my arm around him. I always found that odd. He had a great voice…. very low and he could fake sing like Robert Goulet. He drank cheap beer, PBR and the like, and a LOT of it, and basically chain smoked. When he’d get in bed with me after a night out, he smelled like I remember my dad smelling when I was a kid. And my dad is an alcoholic. That was a turn off. Obviously.

Can I just say how ecstatic I am every time I step on the scale and see that I’m still down those 10 pounds?! It would be cool if the number kept getting lower, but at this point I’m pretty content with the fact that I’ve lost 10 pounds. That’s probably the most I’ve lost, intentionally, ever. I had it to lose though…. it was 10 pounds I’ve never seen before that existed because of pizza and wine.

My finances are not going well this month. I think I’m going to have to request my pay for December’s cleaning services early this month. Christmas shopping is like throwing money at other people. I don’t have that many people to buy for, but I spend $50 per person which adds up to be $400. Plus some, because I’m sure I’ll be buying little things for people here and there. Christmas is about GIVING. I should’ve just asked for money from everyone so I could pay off their presents.

I never buy for non-immediate family members. I never buy for my step-siblings or their spouses or their kids. Is that bad? I have to draw the line somewhere. I see these people once or twice a year….

What I think I’m going to do is shop for cheap jewelry on Forever21.com and give those out to people I forgot to buy for. Because their shit is like $5 a pop. I can do that.

Yoga tonight. I have to go because I spent $125 for a month unlimited and it’s only worth it if I GO.