fucking awesome

Yesterday, Paco called me when he got off work at 6pm. He works the shittiest hours… I can’t imagine working from 7:45am to 6pm. Especially since I have one of the most relaxed jobs in the world and my boss is gone 60% of the time.

Anyway.

He called and was like, so what do you want to do tonight? And I said, I was hoping you would think of something… he used work as an excuse for not making plans, which he always does. He said he’d go home and eat dinner, then let me know what he comes up with.

I kept thinking, you can make plans with National Geographic but you can’t make plans with me??

I brushed it off and went about my evening.

He called at 7pm and said, "What about if we played Rummy, listened to music, and talked about all the fun things we have coming up?"

I was so happy! I don’t need to go to a concert or to a bar or do anything that costs money, I just appreciate the fact that he had a PLAN. And I didn’t think of it. It was perfect.

We planned for 7:45 and HE WAS ON TIME.

So many brownie points happening.

He walked in, had brought Connect Four, my umbrella which I’d thought I had lost but apparently just left at his apartment, and he got me my favorite Vanilla Soy candle.

Soooo many brownie points.

When he gave me the candle he said, "I’m sorry… I hope when you smell this you think nice things of me…"

It was really cute.

I asked him what he was sorry for? He said, "Last night… everything, I’m sorry for poorly communicating, and running late, and not checking my phone… I fucked up."

I thanked him for the candle and his apology and I calmly told him the things that I was upset about. I said that it drives me nuts that he’s always late, and the miscommunications and springing this on me, etc etc.

Then I apologized for my own behavior… I reacted very strongly when I could’ve been more subtle and appropriate. I realized I came across as a crazy controlling girlfriend, EVEN THOUGH my reasons for being upset were very valid.

One of my faves noted me and said, "If you knew Paco was sensitive to something, you would bend over backwards not to offend him further." Which is SO absolutely true.

So I told him that. And he agreed, and apologized.

We also talked about choosing one over the other… a friend over a girlfriend. I told him that nothing I could ever do would be worth causing him the kinds of feelings I had. And he said he had thought about that all day… it definitely wasn’t worth it. I said, "What were you expecting that would’ve made it worth it?" He said he wasn’t thinking… he was just trying to keep his word to his friend.

I said, Dave must think I’m a piece of work, eh? I can’t imagine that being around us while we’re fighting on the phone, but not knowing the full story and what I’m actually saying. You know? 

And Paco said, Actually Dave is on your side more than you think. I think Dave plays Devil’s Advocate with Paco, which suits me just fine in situations like these. Dave said to Paco, "In the end, you have to weigh out what’s more damaging… pissing off your girlfriend, or not keeping your word with your friend."

Which surprises me because I think the mentality of girls to their friends when their boyfriend is pissed is "He has NO RIGHT to be mad about this!" But Dave was just like, dude she’s pissed off, so that must mean something.

I like Dave.

 

So that was a really great conversation, and Paco felt bad and I felt a little guilty for my crazy reaction to all of it. I obviously downplay my own negative actions when I recap things here, but I got really heated on the phone with him and I don’t like to act that way. So I apologized.

 

We ended up just watching Modern Family instead of playing cards, but that was fine with me. I made kale chips and he ate a delicious looking Quizno’s sub (OMG I WANT BREAD SO BAD).

 

And then we had one of the best sexes eveeerrrrrrr like I can’t really believe that we have this insane chemistry and love and attraction.

Even thinking about it turns me on!

 

I’m down FIVE POUNDS in 4 days. What the fuck is that!

That little pooch thing below your belly button that you always wish you could get rid of? Yeah that’s going away. My stomach is almost all flat. And way more defined. I can see the muscles much more clearly in there.

I have been working out moderately… Tuesday I walked 5.5 miles total in the day, mostly hills. Yesterday I went for a little walk, about 2 miles. Been more active in general, going shopping, prepping food, doing chores. My energy level is pretty high, surprisingly.

Today I’m walking home, 2.5 miles, and maybe going for a little walk during lunch with Emily.

 

Then I think I’ll be going to Paco’s to help him and Dave clean their absolutely disGUSTING apartment.

Seriously it’s so gross.

I want to stay there, but I refuse to if it continues as it is.

Dave made guacamole for everyone on Friday and the fucking bowl sat on the coffee table for FIVE DAYS.

There’s beer cans everywhere, as if it’s so hard to throw cans and bottles in the recycle.

It smells like death. Death = rotting food, musty marijuana smoke, and feet.

I think I’m going to buy them some of those Glade air fresheners… there’s a scent I really like that’s out right now and it would go really well with the boy scents.

 

Paco said I can do laundry at his house on Saturday so THANK GOD for that. I have so much laundry to do and the laundry machine at my house sucks. It’s $2.50 per load, and the fucking thing is never open because my neighbors are constantly hoarding it.

 

So yeah…

 

I would like to close by saying that ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME and I love all of your feedback. Seriously. You all help me with my perspective because I have a tendency to get blinders on. So thank you.