Dear Abby

Oh, Saturdays. Cleaning the office days. Sometimes I curse the day I took on this second job, but then I get a paycheck and I’m like, “OH, right, that’s why I do this.”

Okay. So. My mom’s THIRD 50th birthday celebration is tonight. It should be fun. It’s a dinner for 12 hosted by firefighters (yeah!) followed by a limo ride to a bar where there will be dancing. Fun, right? Well, not to be a downer, but there are a few things that are kind of pissing me off right now.

– I am not drinking, and when I told my mom this, she was not pleased. Like I need to drink to have fun. No, mom, that’s YOU.

– I am not taking the limo and will be driving myself to the dinner and to the bar and then home. This is important to me because I want to sleep in my own bed tonight and since I’m not drinking, why not just drive myself? Well, she’s not pleased about that either. I’m sorry but the RIDE to and from and where I sleep should not really be an issue. Right?

– The limo is $55 dollars per person. First of all, everyone going except for me and my sister are RICH housewives who can spend $200 on a pair of shoes and not even blink an eye. So $55 to them is not exactly a lot of money. To me, however, it is. And I’m not even taking the limo. I will be paying my part, however, just because I’d rather fly under the radar and not put up a fight. I know it’s not right to be submissive and whatever, but when it comes to my family, I have a hard time standing up for myself.

Regardless, I’m determined to have a good time and I think I’ll be more poised and sharp if I’m not drinking. Plus, I’m just not drinking for awhile. I’m taking a deliberate break until I feel like things are more under control.

So this moving thing is causing me stress. I’m basically holding an open house tomorrow for people to view my apartment. I haven’t even heard if I’ve been accepted into the apartment I applied for…. fuck. I’m stressing. Plus, I’m working SO HARD to get it into a shape that I feel comfortable showing to strangers. I just bought some carpet cleaner and when I get home from work now I’m going to clean my carpets where my HORRIBLE BUT SO CUTE cat keeps peeing. I just dread it all. I hate everything having to do with my apartment right now. I cleaned the closet where I have the cat box, and it was absolutely horrendous. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the linoleum and I was like “HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS WAS SO DISGUSTING?!” It just REEKED of cat piss. I swear, if I didn’t love my cats so much, they’d be out. Out.

Plus I’m terrified of making a lot of noise in my apartment because I’m so critical of my neighbors and their noise. So I tiptoe and sneak but that’s not the game when you’re heavy-duty cleaning. So it’s just uncomfortable all around. I need to be out of that apartment.

I need to text Will and let him know I’m not sick anymore so that we can get together, but like, I don’t have fucking time to do anything! Fuck fuck fuck.