wow

I am DYING of boredom right now. I even started to clean my room, I was so bored.

But wow, I thought this diary thing got deleted. I tried to log in as Beware_Of_Me instead of beware of me. Ha! I went psycho. >.> Anyway…..

I figured I needed to write in here, so later on in the future Ill know what happened during this small chunk of my lifetime. Nothing really happened, its summer after all, but oh well. Ill find something to write about…

Oh, yes! I have something. During…when..? The beginning of july? I found out Ellen cuts. We were in corpus, camping, and I noticed 5 little neat lines on her thigh. I wanted to ask about them, but decided against it, knowing it was none of my business. I didn’t have to ask about them though, because for some reason, dont remember why now, she started talking about something, and about how she hides things from people, and then she asked me if she ever told me how she got those scars. She was actually talking to everyone in our tent, but I was the only one paying attention, because everyone elses eyes were glued on the portable dvd player. So I told her no, she had never told me, but I know anyway. I told her to shut up about it, and dont tell anyone else.

Then, I told her I used to do it to, and thats how I recognized what they were.

I knew it was almost a death wish to tell that to her, because she’s not the best at keeping secrets. But I made it clear to her to NEVER under ANY circumstance tell ANYONE, even samantha. And if she decides to tell someone, not to mention me. I have long since been done with that cutting thing. It causes more pain than it relieves, and I seriously doubt  the scars I have will ever go away.

But so yea…it was funny because when she was over here last weekend, she was talking to Frank, and frank loves to use that against me when he’s talking to people I know personally. I just laughed and told him it wont work on her, his blackmail was useless when it came to Ellen, because she now knows my only deep dark secret.
The only people I have ever told were Frank, Ellen, and Jamison. I hinted it at one friend a few years ago, and another one found out because Jamison held me down and showed her. (Geez, why did I ever go out with him?)

Im not in touch with anyone but Ellen and Frank now, but I’d trust the both of them with my life, so im good trusting them with my secret.

Other stuff happened too, when Frank was talking to Ellen. I was asleep, and Ellen came in to wake me up to scream in my face that Frank was the most awesome person ever. Naturally, I asked why, and ellen told me that he had asked her why I told her I used to cut. (He knows how protective I am about my secrets)
She then told him that she did too, and that was why I told her. Frank then took it upon himself to become Dr. Frank once more, and try to figure out what was wrong with her and help her.

The next morning, he expressed his shock that it only took him 3 hours to get through to her, when it took him half a year to finally get through to me. I told him "Well, I’m a more complex person than ellen is." His reply?

"No shit."

Yea….Ellen really isnt the brightest crayon in the box :

As a matter of fact, he compared us to boxes. He said Ellen was like a cardboard box that in order to get inside, all you had to do was lift the flap. He said I was like a cardboard box that in order to get inside, you had to first rip off the tape, cut open the box with big pair of scizzors, and then carefully remove all the bubble wrap and newspaper.

But, I also told Frank not to feel too proud of himself. It may have only taken him 3 hours to convince her there are people out there that love her, but she has also been seeing a psychiatrist for 5 years, for various reasons. And since she lives in the same part of town as 90% of our 140 relatives, she’s always around them and would be very stupid if she couldn’t see that she has a bunch of people that love her.

Oooo speaking of Ellen, Aunt Dolores FINALLY got accepted for adopting someone <3
Her name is…..ugh I dont know how to spell it. Jacelyn, Jacklynn, I dont know. But whatever, we call her Jackie for short. She’s 6 or 7. I was talking to her on the phone yesterday, she is so cute! ^_^ She’s moving in with Ellen and Aunt Dolores permanently tomorrow <3 So this weekend Im going to go over there to meet her. I’m going to buy her a barbie, she says she likes barbies. So yea.

😀 yay, more cousins! Now I have what…like..1001 of em?

And I cant wait until school starts XD yea im such a dork..
But really. I cant <3

I was over there yesterday, getting my books and my schedule. Stephen was there, so was ruth, and nikki, and……ERIC :O *is happy*
I thought he was staying at the old school. He’s not one of my super-awesome friends, but, he is one of the psychotic ones, so I am very happy I wont be alone in my psychoticness at the new school, and Ill have someone there with that in common with me, since everyone else had to stay at the old school

But yea, stephen is in my house!!!

The red house…yessssss it RULES. Since we are in the same house, we are going to take it over, re-name it Slytherin, and I get to be the queen!! MUAHAHA
I just hope kirsten is in my house….If she isn’t im going to cry . Okay not really, but ill want to. Maybe.

There are 3 houses. They’re Red, White, and Blue houses, and those are school colors, so WOW go figure. We take all our core classes with our house,  and electives other places in the building. And oh, yea, I have an actual locker :O and guess what…its on the bottom…AGAIN! 5 years in a row i have had a bottom locker -.-

Lovely, just..lovely -.-