Oh wow it’s been a long time

I figured I’d write something in here…to update it, and to make sure it doesn’t get deleted or something. If that happened, I’d be super pissed, even though I don’t need this thing anymore.

But…so…last friday was the last day of school, the end of my first year of college. I’m free to be bored and do nothing all summer.

Since I haven’t written anything about college, maybe I will now: I absolutely LOVE it. Oh my god…my first few weeks there I was shocked at the amount of freedom everyone had. It was amazing. The classes are laughably easy, you aren’t forced to go (to most classes), the teachers are amazing and sometimes amazingly psycho, I rarely have homework, and if I do, it’s only to write essays – something I’m actually very very good at. I love the people there, especially the ones who share a bunch of classes with me. They’re interesting people. My art teachers are constantly bragging about me, especially the guy who’s in charge of the game design stuff. I’m getting an associates in Game Simulation and Design with a concentration in art, and then I’m going to get a bachelor’s in fine art at a real university, and when that’s all finished, I’ll be able to teach art from K-12. I’m hoping to be finished with that before I’m 21. The one teacher I mentioned thinks I’m retarded. He actually said to me "why the hell would you waste all that talent on teaching?" I tried explaining to him teaching art was my fall back thing…I needed something that would be stable, but enjoyable. I would love to be a 3d animation artist for a game company or a movie studio or something…but it can be very risky from what I’ve heard, and its very difficult to get into that field.

Anyway, about the stuff that is going on now…Scott, my lovely stalker, invited me to my old school’s prom. It was on saturday. I acted like it wasn’t a big deal…but, I was actually…shocked. And excited. I put some crazy hours (and money) into getting ready for that thing…but it was so worth it. I had alot of fun, I looked amazing (haha, honestly…I did ^_^ ) and it was really really nice to see all my old friends again…Anna, and Daniel, and Matthew, and…everyone. They were all there. I still felt out of place though…so I wasn’t in a psychotic mood like all my people were, so I felt kind of bad for not dancing all that much with Scott. I also felt kind of bad that I only loosened up with him when I told myself to imagine he was Frank. Haha.

Yes, after all this time, I am still totally in love with him. We have the craziest relationship, but its our relationship, and we love it.

But back to the prom…we went to an after party at Jared’s boat house in the middle of nowhere on a lake. Everyone was there. I think walked in on Jonathan doing some chick, I THINK. I’m not really sure what was going on…I had Scott and Jeff check it out…funny stuff. I have to remember to also never forget the cat incident, the issue with them letting me into the prom, the armadillo, matthew on the wheelchair, and me being attacked by dance. Jessica was the prom queen…I’ve always thought the king and queen thing was the most retarded thing ever. A popularity contest, and nothing more. But I guess I was wrong, Jessica is one of the most amazing people you could ever hope to meet. Seriously. Nobody else could have deserved it more than her.

Oh, and my dad made me come home at 2:30.  Scott dropped me off and then went back over there, cause everyone was still there, even Anna and Sylvia! I pretended I was pissed just to get on my dad’s nerves..but actually I was ready to get out of there…being with the guy who professed his love to you and then nearly stalked you for two years is nerve racking.

When he asked me to go with him, half my mind was thinking it was a joke. Even when we started planning everything, I thought it was a joke. Even the day of the prom, when he called me and told me he was on his way to pick me up, I half expected him to not show up. Either that, or I thought he’d show up and try to rape me, tell me there was no prom, or he’d do some other strange thing. I kid you not, I had planned out what I would do if any of that happened =|

I am insane.

It all turned out okay though. And I felt loved, because he had asked me, and everyone kept telling me I was so pretty, and Pat asked me to go hang out with him on thursday. He and his girlfriend broke up not too long ago…and I know he’s probably just on the rebound, but I still feel loved nonetheless. I havent talked to him in a year, and I’m the one he decided to run back to.

Well, anyway…I’m dieing of sickness right now. My fever began to go away earlier this evening though, so I’m getting better. I’ve gone through two boxes of tissue already.

And I went to a funeral today, my aunt’s father in law’s funeral. Oh man was that miserable…I felt like shit, and I didn’t want to be disrespectful and I didn’t want anyone to think I was crying, so I tried as hard as I could to keep myself from sneezing and sniffling too much. Ugh.

I could write so much more, but it’s midnight and I’m tired as hell.