Me thinking with a dead brain

Its been a while…a LONG while.

There’s nothing much to report.  It is summer after all. We are going to corpus this weekend, to go camping. Pat is coming. I have had countless numbers of people ask if I’m still going out with him. And I’m not. We’re just friends. Really.

Me and Kirsten were talking to Frank yesterday. It was fun. My brain feels like it’s turned off right now. It does that during the summer. I guess it’s the lack of thinking too much, which is what I do when I’m at school. I think alot during the school year, and during summer, there is nothing to think about. Well, actually, I suppose there is, but I’d rather not think about it all. None of it is pleasant to think about. I just want to forget everything….

All these people I’ll never see or talk to again, I just want to forget they ever existed…It makes me sad to think about them, and remember the times we had and that we’ll never have again. Jesse, Anna, Dillon, Daniel, Lee, everyone else…God, it’s like they’ve died.

And the people i’ve still got left….a very small group of people…I’m not all that great of friends with them. At least it doesn’t feel like it. It all feels fake. It feels like they are just people I hang out with so I’m not alone. Maybe they believe we are all good friends, but I don’t. I think. Maybe they don’t either. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. If I had been thinking about it, it’d be easier to explain.
But I haven’t been thinking, so I can’t.

I’m glad I at least have Frank. I couldn’t count how many times I have mentioned him in an entry.
I know Frank will never leave me. He can’t. Funny, how a simple move to a new high school can completely sever lifelong friendships, while the relationship I have with Frank has survived a 1500 mile barrier for nearly 3 years.

That’s why he can’t ever leave me. Because we are already apart. We were apart when we met, we are apart now, and we’ll always be. Yet even when we move to a new house, state, whatever – we’re still together. Ah, the joys of technology.
It is crazy, I suppose. Being so close to someone so far away from you. But it’s not as if you don’t know who they are. My argument is that you don’t have to see someone to know them. You get to really know people through their words and actions, not their faces or appearence. Therefore you don’t have to see someone physically to love them.

I’ve known Frank for years. That’s why I know so much about him, and about who he is and how he is. I know just as much as anyone he knows in "real life." And it’s the same for me. He actually knows more, much more, about me than anyone else. And I don’t like calling it "real life" anymore. Because he is real life. He told me once, long ago, that if I died, a part of him would die too. Yet of course, I still use the term to distinguish between things happening on the computer, and things actually physically happening in my life.

Some people out there might think I’m crazy, yet others think it’s nothing unusual. Ask anyone who plays video games all day involving talking to people – you really do meet some very interesting people out there. Some of them, you click with more than others. Frank and I are just one example 🙂

Geez….look at how I got from going camping to talking about Frank. -.-
No matter what I say, it always leads back to him, and then my entire entry is taken up by him. -.-
Oh well. Like I said in the very beginning, not much is going on. I’ve been spending all my time on the computer, talking to people and playing games and such. So thats all I’ve got to write about for a few more months.

-.-