For Me

So I had a conversation with a co worker the today. The holidays are hard for me. I live in Oregon and my family is in New York. I never get to go home for holidays, I spend so many holidays alone. I had a bad week, honestly a bad month. I have not eaten well, I have not worked out, and i 100% feel like crap! Im tired and bloated and I have gained weight.

As I was talking to my coworker she asked me, why do you want to lose weight? You have already lost so much, you look great. Do you have any weight related issues? And if you want to get back on track, what is stopping you? They seem like simple question, but they really made me think. So here are my answers.

Why do I want to lose weight?

I do not hate myself, I do not think I am ugly and I do not think losing weight will make me happier. What I want is to stay and be healthy. I am terrified of the health issues I watch both my parents struggling with. I am 41 and very lucky that I do not have heart issues, or diabetes. But with the way I have been eating, and not working out, I am a ticking time bomb.  That is my why, I want to live. I want to live a long life that I can enjoy.

I guess that also answers the health issues. I have some, but none weight related. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I have chronic anemia. But that is it.

As for what is stopping me?

The simple answer is me. My depression convinces me that no matter what I do, i will fail. I say screw you. I am 41, i have lost 150lbs so far, I moved across country after a soul and heart crushing divorce , started over and have an amazing career and I went back to school. And not to toot my own horn, I am killing it! I am killing it with a 3.89 GPA. So what is stopping me is laziness and excuses

So what am i going to do about it?

Here is what I am going to do, for me

I am going to eat healthy, no diets, no tricks, just eat real food

For me, I am going to work out 3-4 days a week, I have access to a gym at work for FREE! And I know I feel and sleep better when I work out!

For me I am going to get off my butt and get healthy. I dont care much about my weight, I just want to stay healthy!