Day Three – Sleepy

Yesterday didn’t go as well as the day before, sadly. I am proud to say that I did get some stuff done, but the timing was off. I made breakfast for Mom, Rider, and me, fixed lunch for Ipo and Court, fed the guins and then I realized I was exhausted. I fell asleep a time or two at my desk (my favorite napping spot, apparently), and decided that I was going to go lay down until my alarm got me up at 12 to start my chores. It’d be about a 3 hour nap or so. Well, my phone’s been acting wonky lately, shutting off randomly (damn you planned obselience!) so my phone shut off and restarted itself while I was sleeping, and of course, since it wasn’t unlocked at the time that the alarms were supposed to go off, they didn’t go off. My 2.5 or so hour nap turned into a 4.5 hour nap without me realizing it. That kind of threw me off a little bit. Not enough to want to scrap the whole day (I’m trying to get out of that mindset) but enough that I was just stumbling around for a bit. I did get the kitchen picked up and the dishes cleaned. I also cut veggies for the guins and ate a really good (and healthy) lunch (a chef salad without the cheese… with the dressing I liked and the like, it was 9 points, which was very good). I brushed out my hair (something I’ve been avoiding for a while… the depression has it really hard for me to feel like it was worth taking the time to do things like shower on a regular basis and brush my own hair more than once a month or so. It toook about 45 minutes but I did get the hair tamed. I puttered around a little bit until Mom woke up, then talked to her for a little bit. Ryan came over to visit like he does on Tuesdays and he cooked chicken tenders and waffle fries. It was my big point splerge for the day, but it was totally worth it. I figure if I have two semi-healthy meals and one that’s less than healthy, it should be okay.

My biggest problem with last night’s meal is that i overate. I shouldn’t have grabbed the second plate of fries (a second 12 fry serving), it made me uncomfortably stuffed. Granted, that’s another way that I’m used to eating — eat till your’e stuffed because when growing up, it was a crap shoot on whether or not you’ll get any more food that day. I need to remind myself that I now have food security and don’t need to fight for every scrap of food. Well, not really fight for it, but I no longer have to look at dinner and think, “There’s not enough for Mom to eat now.” Mom is fed at least once a day and there’s plenty of finger and easy to eat food that she can meander into the kitchen to grab.

When I got home from taking Mom to work last night, I found that Ipo had opened one of the presents he got from Rider. I made a semi-joke about not being allowed to open up one of my presents and Rider ran off to the bedroom to grab one of them for me. XD He got me a French rolling pin… a really, reallly nice one, made from some really pretty hardwoods. It makes a good whack ’em stick too… lol I wonder if I should put it up with all the other “weapons” in the house, or if I can really put it with my cooking supplies. I kind of can’t wait to try it out.

I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamt that I was in some sort of plane or train or something. It was huge though… like a really large bunker or hanger. At first I thought I was in a mall or something of that kind. I remember something about it being a school for a bit, but that’s kind of weird. Anyways, I was wandering around the food court of the mall / shopping mall / school, or whatever. I was looking around for something to eat and every time I found something interesting, either the shop would be out of whatever it was I wanted, or I would buy the food and stick it in my backpack or whatnot. I’d just keep going from booth to booth, buying some things, that sort of thing. I started to try to find my way uout, only to be stopped not too far from the main building by a lanky, blonde guy and a very beautiful girl with curly brown hair. I introduced myself to them, and they said hello to me. I asked for directions to the way out, and was told that I could get directions if I allowed the girl to kick me in the privates. I thought that was a stupid idea, but it was the only way that I could get home, so I agreed. I got kicked in the… uhm… clam, and when I didn’t go down, the girl was impressed and lead me back into the building. Once we got where I could find my way through the building I started exploring a little bit more. I was a bit bored and tired and went back to my space to go lay down. The meeting spaces on the boat(?) were filled and I bounced back and forth, just being bored. I found the lanky guy and the cute girl and started talking. It was only then that I realized how lonely they were… apparently, from what they told me, this was the train to purgertory and since they were in charge of making sure that people didn’t escape into the unknown, no one really wanted to spend time with them. No, it was more than that, it was the fact hat most people didn’t really see / adknowledge them because they were in a different plane of existance. They could make them see them and the like but it was tiring.

I could see them and the like because I was a soul in flux. God and the Devil had no clue what to do with me yet. So they put me on this train in order to see what I would be / do..

There was a lot of talking and the like, and it all boiled down to me talking to God and discussing the fact that I liked the two angels and that it broke my heart that they had to spend eternity on this train, meeting people, becoming friends with them and only to turn around and lose them again in a what felt like a few heartbeats. I told God that instead of going to Heaven or Hell, I wanted to stay on the train and be a good and true friend to the other two. At the end of the dream, before the dogs woke me up, I got to ‘see’ what the two people were made of… one was a thorny plant, and the other was a bug that drowned or something like that. It was just… weird.

But yeah. Woke up with the dogs at 4am and have been up since. I’m going to go make lunch for the boys, feed the guins and decide if I want to take Ipo to work today so I can stop and get some food tonight — Rider’s paying. I’m so tired. >.> I might take an hour nap and see where I can go from there.