swinging

The second person I met from the aforementioned online adult dating site was Sean. He lured me in with unassuming, casual witty banter. There was no sleazy undertones or desperation in his manner, unlike so many of the other responses I’d recieved. It was easy to go along with him, and I met him almost straight away.

I was under the impression we would go out for dinner or drinks and generally get to know each other a little before taking things any further, but that plan went astray pretty quickly. Sean picked me up after running and errand for a friend, and said he needed to go home first to change his clothes. That should have set the warning bells ringing, but it didn’t because I was so charmed by him. He was so confident and charasmatic, and I felt very comfortable with him immediately.

We went back to his house, where he put on a DVD for me while he went upstairs to change, and when he came back down he brought two glasses of wine and sat with me on the couch. We talked for ages, and he gave me a foot massage, which led to a neck and shoulders massage, which led to him kissing my neck and eventually my mouth.

We had that sort of sex you see in the movies.. where the two parties are so eager that there’s a frenzy of passionate kisses up against walls, and there’s a rush to remove clothes. I don’t remember the sex itself too well – it wasn’t mind blowing – but I remember he was quite insistant on taking me home afterwards.

Which is why I was surprised when he called again and again, asking to see me.

It turned into quite a regular thing. I’d sleep over at his house a couple of nights a week, and we’d go out for breakfast or watch DVDs aswell. It’s definitely a friendship based around sex, not just two people coming together to fuck every now and then. We get along really well.

Sean is really into the visual aspect of sex. He likes me to kneel on all fours over him in the 69 position so he can turn on the lamp and look at me from behind. Normally I’d be too self conscious to allow that, but with him I feel so comfortable. It’s obvious he likes my body, so why should I try and hide it? He likes to lie there in the mornings, looking at my body and telling me all the things he likes about it. I’ve never been so uninhibited.

A few weeks ago, Sean asked me to go to a swingers club with him. I was nervous because I’d never done anything like it before and I wasn’t sure if I would be into it… but also excited because it was an opportunity for me to explore another aspect of my sexuality in a safe environment.

We took half an E each, bought a bottle of wine and rocked up to the club dressed smart casual… when we got there we found it was a beach themed party and everyone was running around in bikinis and board shorts – oops! Mistake number one. We were given a tour when we arrived… there was a general area with a pool table, dance floor, stripper poles, couches, a bar… there was a big screen with porn playing on it, and mirrors everywhere. Upstairs on one side was a bondage area with all sorts of whips and toys, and a voyeur room with a one way mirror – people could look in and see what was happening, but those inside couldn’t see out to whoever was watching. Upstairs on the other side were three private rooms and a massage table. There was also a "big brother" shower with an open window for anyone to look in…

Sean and I spent some time just hanging out, enjoying the E and observing the vibe.. after a while, we went upstairs to the bondage area where people were milling around, and Sean became very involved with a couple who were using some straps and whips… the woman was tied to this wooden structure in the shape of an X, and Sean got right in there playing dominat and was whiping this woman while telling her husband what he was allowed to do to her. I stood back and watched, a mixture of feeling a subdued effect from the E and feeling too shy for it all.

While I was standing back, a man and woman came over to talk to me. They were considerably older than me, but they were both still attractive. I was particularly taken by the man – he was quite striking. And he was very kind and gentle and unobtrusive. We talked for a bit, and Sean came over to check I was ok (therefore meeting the older couple) before they went downstairs to have a shower.

So the night progressed, and somehow hours passed.. we had both kept our clothes on all night, but Sean was enjoying taking part in a few different things and talking to lots of different people.. I mainly hung back and watched everything. A few people tried to talk to me and invite me to different rooms to do all sorts of different things, but I politely turned them all down – the E was having a downer effect on me. I was feeling reflective and subdued and not at all sexual.

Towards the end of the night we found ourselves again chatting with the older couple. It was very obvious that the man was quite attracted to me and I must admit I was mesmerised by him – when he looked into my eyes, I couldn’t look away from him. They ended up inviting us up to a private room, to watch them have sex or to join in ourselves if we wanted to…

In the room, I was still feeling subdued and shy. I sat on the corner of the bed with my knees tucked up and watched as the other three got naked and enjoyed each other. There were a few gentle suggestions that I might join in, but they respected my boundaries and mostly let me be.. Despite not feeling sexual, I got considerably turned on by it all, realising so when Sean slid his hand between my legs and exclaimed "God, you’re so wet!"

At the end of the night, we exchanged contact details and decided to see each other again. The older man gave me a kiss goodbye which to this day remains one of the most intimate moments of my life – I’m telling you, there was this incredible unexplained connection between us. I still feel it.

In the days afterwards I felt very excited and turned on by it all. It helped to clarify a few things I’d been debating about my sexual self – sure, there’s a part of me that has sex with men for the wrong reasons, but that night I was there for all the right reasons. I was there because I am curious and interested and excited by sex in all its forms. I enjoy sex and I like having varied partners and experiences. And I love to watch.

We’ve seen the older couple again since.. but that’s another story