NOJOMO day 3

I thought I would write an entry about my grandmother.

Her name was Cristina. She died in 2007 not to long after my 18th birthday.

I remember the night. It was a Saturday and I went to after hours club with my friend Paul. I did a bunch of E and bought tickets to combichrist the next big show. I have pictures from the night. I was all smiles and I looked different. my hair was pinned back in a certain way and my cheeks were rosey. I looked almost like a doll.

I went home and went to sleep. My mom woke me up a couple hours later and said that my grandma had passed away. She was a wreck. I`ll never forget the look in her eyes. She held me and sobbed for 30 mins. I couldnt really process it

Grandma had died in her sleep. Her lungs failed and she slipped away. It wasnt painful and her fists werent clenched. I am greatful.
She was a smoker for many years. From what I ever remembered she rarely smoked maybe 1 ciggarette a day. She always hid it from my Grandfather. I guess she inhaled pool chemicals inside the house and had to go the hospital the week before. They only gave her oxygen and sent her home a few hours later. It must have done some pretty serious damage to her already damaged lungs.

I`m not really good at dealing with death. Losing something so precious scares me deeply. I hope my grandfather dies peacefully. He was a wreck… he`s gone a little strange.. He`s also 70 and still taking care of himself. My grandmother died at 56.

I regret not talking to her more. I didn`t talk to her for a year before she died. DONT TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED. Everyday is a gift.

My friend Dawn`s mother committed suicide last week. She was high on acid when she heard the news. She hadn`t seen her mom in 3 years and ignored her last phone call. She spilled her guts to me today, she`s so strong. I could see she wanted to cry but held it back. She really made me miss my grandmother.

Death is terrible but it really makes you see how precious life is.