fuck fridays

I went to HiFi club with mitch on wednesday. The DJ was total garbage. We left early and went to my house. We got in a fight about something stupid and went to sleep mad.

yesterday Marcel Woods was at my work I had it booked off forever ago. and Mitch actually agreed to go. even though he had to work at 10 this morning. his fault, since he wants friday nights off. we were dancing a bit and this girl comes up to mitch and starts chatting him up. hello girlfriend standing right here. she’s touching his arm and flirting. i didn’t butt in. but when she started to dance with him i think i gave off some kinda vibe for her to fuck off

when i went outside to watch him smoke i asked who the female was. and he said it was a girl from modern math. The club he goes to every friday. i asked him what she said. and he said she said that he looked funny without his raver hat on.

I got really pissed off.  Those pictures on facebook from last friday and this random bitch that seems to know him pretty good really make me jealous. And since finding a girls number in his pocket and that lie about who he’s doing Ecstasy with…. i don’t have much trust.

We went home right after because my mood went sour. We talked about how unfair life is. He got an hour of sleep before he had to get to work…

I’ve really thought about this… I don’t think I deserve this.. I’ve paid enough. Every weekend I get that feeling in my gut that something isn’t right. Thinking about him dancing on hoes makes me wanna puke.

So I Told Him

I don’t approve of your lifestyle. Your actions are hurting me. Something needs to change. And if it has to be me then that’s fine. It’s not okay to go to the club and do E without your girlfriend. And I’m not the kinda of girl to let that happen. So either you can go out on days that I have off or you can be single.

He agreed.. but he has agreed to this before with no result. He said i understand why you feel this way. but i’m going out this weekend without you. it will be the last time.

so he understands why i feel this pain. but this event is more important than my feelings. this has really been the case every friday. i’ve seen the way he acts at clubs. and it hurts my heart.

I told him if he goes tonight, that’s it. The constant hurting of my feelings has crossed the line.

lets see where this goes.

 

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January 28, 2011

Seriously girl.. I’ve read a few entries, you’re just as effed up for putting up with his ****. Move on, he doesn’t love you like he says he does, and that’s very obvious.

January 28, 2011

ugh. not good. 🙁 stay tough, girl! don’t give in too easily – you are the only person who can see and feel how he truly hurts you time and time again.

January 28, 2011

shrug. end it then