Probably the worst meal I ever tasted…

One of the board members of the waterfowl park apparently fancies herself a cook, and said she was going to bring dinner to the meeting the other night.  When she arrived, she announced it was a, "shrimp and shitake mushroom penne Alfredo."

My first thought was, "Oh, dear."  If you wanted to design a dish to appeal to obese Americans, this is it, but not real food in any sense of the word.

To begin with, way too much going on there.  It sounds like a dish from Ruby Tuesday or one of those other awful places.  Real Alfredo sauce is simply high-quality Parmesan cheese and butter tossed with pasta.  The American idea of Alfredo sauce is a mucilaginous, tasteless culinary abortion.  Hers was the latter variety.  Add to that her overcooked pasta, overcooked shrimp and overcooked mushrooms, and it was a disaster.  The mushrooms were especially interesting.  Left whole, with the stem on, they were rubbery and vile. 

To be fair, I gave it the benefit of the doubt and took a taste.  I then put down my fork, as did several others.  I blame the "cook" for what happened next.  "How is it?", she asked.  My reply?  "Vile."  She then asked what was wrong, and I told her.  Lady Wife could barely keep a straight face during this, as she knew what was coming.

I strongly suspect her Alfredo sauce came out of a jar, but didn’t belabor the point.