rambly, and ask me anything?!

You see, I could never be a stay-at-home mom. As much as I enjoy being home and adore to spend time with my children, I just wasn’t built that way.  In the last month I have seen a marked difference in how things have been going. 

At first I was so incredibly thrilled not to have to go to work (or the pits of hell, you can call it either), that I tackled projects and daily chores with enthusiasm.  As the weeks have gone on though, that enthusiasm has waned and I can see things starting to be let go.. and well, i am too undisciplined not to have an externally imposed routine and schedule.

There, I said it.

I need that structure, I need that adult interaction (current work situation does not count), and I just need to feel that i’m "doing something."

On the other hand, I’m not the type to want to be constantly "doing something."  I want my time to be, well, my time.  I really dislike having to do as much work at home as I do right now.  In many ways, I think I may have chosen the wrong profession. 

Don’t get me wrong I like teaching… but rignt now i’m just surviving there everyday.. at Wyndham i was just kind of floating along.. (really didn’t NEED to do a whole lot outside of school.. also came with knowing the curriculum)… but before that, when I had a long term substitute position at a "nice" middle school… i ADORED it! 

Unfortunately those positions are just not available now.  there are just way too many applicants for every position that opens up, and that is going to be increasing greatly if NYS passes their education-crushing budget. 

So, really, I’m not sure what i’m going to do.  I wish I could get my Wyndham job back.  It didn’t hold the status or pay that i was desiring, but I was happy there.  I just don’t think that’s going to happen though, and it really makes me sad.  but such is life, we make choices, we move on, for better or worse we take chances.

It’s just all very crazy how some simple choices we make can change our lives forever….

well this turned out very philosophical and rambly.. sorry.. i’m in a mood..but i want to lighten it up… so here it is..

Ask me anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  yes anything that you are curious about… nothing is off limits…

i’m accepting all kindsof notes on this entry, fyi