i give up..

i’m going to cut/paste what i’ve written already at a forun that i write at.. just don’t feel like retyping it all …

Part of me wants to just say, "FINE, take them!! Starting next week you will have them every other weekend, but i will not pack a single thing besides what they need for dance, and YOU have to make sure they get to all the things they need to get to!" That would include dress rehearsal for dance, and to their recital.. since those are consecutive weekends, ONE of them would be his. Hell, it would give me 2 free weekends every month to spend with Charles, work, whatever.. and he would have to actually act like a parent for more than a few hours or mayyyyybe a day at a time.. It actually would feel kind of good to just stop fighting it and trying to control what he does with them…. but i really don’t want him having that much influence over my child… but what’s he really going to do in a 2 weekends a month…..

honestly, i’m so defeated with the whole child support thing and i really don’t want to be dragged into court again … i really am thinking that i will just say.. "here ya go" to the ass..

but i KNOW maya won’t want to go.. and i feel bad that i’d have to make here.. but what can i do, you know?? it’s looking like most of my fighting is for nothing anyway.

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[actually i talked to Maya, she isn’t QUITE as adverse to the idea as i thought she’d be, but she is less than thrilled]

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Talked to the girls they seem kind of ok with it actually.. so i might just do it.. i’m just sick of fighting…

although maya said "what if it’s a holiday?? I can be home right??" why yes, girlie, you can.. and if he wants to fight over holidays, he can be my damn guest, because you DO NOT mess with my holidays!!! =P

i will probably text him tonight about it.. i’m seriously done fighting. my mom however, is going to think i’m nuts.. she thinks he is completely unstable and that i should be able to get his medical records and show that to the court.. my guess is i can’t get them, and that they may not matter anyway.. why spend the emotions on fighting the inevitable anyway?? this way *I* can feel like *I* had some control over the situation, not that he *WON* something in court and i was forced to do this.. i couldn’t bear to lose to him again.

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So i texted him that he could just have them.. and all the responsiblities for them every other weekend.. and so far.. no response.. it’s been almost 2 hours..

don’t think he expected me to call his "bluff"

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yeah, well I had a really nice surprise.. I went to see "Something Borrowed" with my mom and my grandma.. my grandma paid for me =) she offered since my mom and her were going and she knew i was having a horrible day. My mom said she wanted to invite me but she couldn’t afford it.. (she has no money just like me nowadays.. ) So it was fun.. and i really enjoyed the movie.

and it was nice to see that there are good men out there.. my charlie for one.. he had already told me he had to go to a friend’s house to help him move something at 7.. (we have all 4 kids tonight) and i told him me grandma offered to pay for me to see a movie.. he said ok.. and took all 4 kids with him to his friends house!! i love him.

Dave still has not texted me back. After i got over the initial, "i won’t be able to make plans whenever i please" part of it.. i was thinking.. "omg, i could make ADULT plans" but it seems as if the ass doesn’t really want to parent.. if even for 2 weekends a month.. is anyone really surprised??!?!

(i bet it’s the part where i won’t supply them with clothes and other essentials for his time with him that is getting him.. but seriously??!?! you want to pay me $63 a week and expect me to pack stuff for your house.?!?! i think not.)

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