going crazy..*

funny, i typed that title in and the title of another entry that starts the same way popped up.. i guess i’ve been on the verge of going crazy before.

I woke up this morning and as soon as my eyes opened, i was unable to force them closed again.  My thoughts and worries just entered my partially consious mind like a freight train.  I was of little power to stop it. 

It’s getting to that time of year again.  The one where school is getting pretty darn close to starting and I am not employed.  Last year, in August, I got a surprise call from the principle of a middle school that had seen my application online.  He offered me an interview for a long term sub position, which, of course, I accepted.  And about a  week later he called and offered me the job!  Yipee!! it was my first real classroom experience.

After that I had a spell of about 4 months where there was only subbing.  And, since i had no faith in my ability to day-to-day sub, waitressing.  EEEK!  i’m trying not ever to do that again, the waitressing, but desparate times may call for desparate measures.  Anyway after that time I got a sudden call, once again, from someone who had received my resume for an upcoming job fair.  Due to that I ended up with another 2 month long term sub position.

When that ended, I was a bit worried, once again.  But then I received two offers in two days to teach at different summer school programs. 

Now, however, summer school has come to an end, and once again… jobless.  ugh!

I know I’m not completely out for the school year, and there is always subbing.  It’s kind of ok, not really though, because this will be Maya’s last year home before starting kindergarten.  It wouldn’t be horrible to spend some of that time with her.  The bottom line however, is that we have a TON of bills and need me working to pay them all.

So send prayers, good vibes/thoughts/whatever this way that I may become employed in the next couple weeks.  I am trying not to panic or get too discouraged.

I cannot wait until I get to a time where I do not have to worry about remaining employed. 

Next year, that time will come for me.  Most likely somewhere else in the country.

who left that last note?? it’s really wierd since i don’t accept unsigned notes..