Theboys of summer…

Are non-existant!!! Jesus Christ. My boys of summer consist of my Dad, my brothers, the little ones I watch, and my puppy Nugget. And don’t forget the friend’s supposed Ex-bf that ended up being the entire reason for the trip to Miami. Speaking of…I guess I haven’t updated in a very long time. So….

I went to Ft. Lauderdale. We took a midnight flight, and at the airport in Denver, my friend leans over and says "Just so you know, I don’t want you to feel left out." And I give her this look, and she stutters and says "well I mean, if his mom or something wants to show us how to cook a dish or something, I just don’t want you feeling ignored." And I think…funny, weird… doesn’t make sense, who gives a shit I’m flying to Miami! WRONG. Basically, the back story on this trip is that G was dating this boy here while at school up in Boulder. And it was like innocent dating, he was only 19 when we met him like, April of last year. She broke up w her bf at the time for him, and it was like this immature relationship. She always wanted to break up with him because he just wouldn’t say ANYthing to her and he’d get all mad when we’d want to leave and go to bars knowing he couldn’t come. I remember going to his birthday party because she didn’t want to be there alone (also got a U-turn ticket drunk then and narrowly avoided a DUI) trying to just get back to the appt a mile away. I digress. So I quit talking to skankwhore after the the huge birthday debacle, and we only started a dialogue in May. So we’ve hung maybe 3 times since May and she tells me she’s broken up with him because it’s pointless to be together for the summer when he’s living in a different state and another country, and even when he gets back she won’t live in the same place anymore, and they’re just friends now.

Ok, so staying with him and his family wouldn’t be a big deal then right? Well, then she says "that dream trip we’ve always wanted to take to Miami, we could do for only $250 each because we wouldn’t need to pay for hotels or anything by staying w his fam!" And I naively bought it. So that whole time we were in Ft. Lauderdale and Miami? I was trailing around by myself about to start my period in 100 degree heat on a BEACH with like, 100% humidity. Fat girl’s dream, right?! I couldn’t believe it. Numerous times I was left either alone with his mom, stepdad, and sister….or just ALONE. What a wasted trip. Sure the scenery was nice, and nothing beats being in the ocean, crystal water at 6 feet and white sand and blah blah. And I don’t even mind alone time. What I mind is that if I wanted to take a trip alone I WOULD, and then I could have seen the things I wanted to see, made my own schedule, and not been at the whim of this child who wanted to walk around the art deco district all afternoon and waste my daylight hours. UGH. I mean, I’m not being grateful. It was generous and he was nice enough. And his family was amazing and so generous. But I mean, who wants to go on a trip and be introduced everywhere as this is ___’s Gf Gaby, and her friend. And jesus christ, I wish I’d known they’d be on each other like white on rice and at least had time to mentally prepare. It was a really low blow. This is the hypothetical trip we’d been planning since we were seniors in highschool and I didnt get to do one single thing I’d anticipated. There were only a handful of pics taken the entire trip! And the only one of us two together except for one where she ran over and leaned in, took a snapshot of us and left back to said bf was taken on the return flight out of Atlanta. Pictures say a thousand words I guess.

Then, the plane ride home, through a snafu at the Ft. Lauderdale airport, our connection to Atlanta bumped us to 1st class. So I’m all excited for this flight and blah and she looks at me (after almost making us extremely late because she wanted to keep making out with him at the airport) and says ‘do you think he likes me?" Now, normally that would be fine. But after spending a whole 5 days being completely left to trail behind them in their endeavors and having my head bit off at mention of it, it wasn’t something I was prepared to do. So I said very calmly "hunny, I think that’s pretty obvious the way you two were attached at the hip the entire trip." And she asked something again and I was just like…..don’t go here with me….. So I said something nice and short and she was all of a sudden mad at me and was like "I wasn’t trying to get you to stroke my ego or something, jesus!" So I shrugged and said ok and went on with the other conversation we’d been having before she interrupted me to ask. Then a few minutes later she bit my head off again and said she thought what I’d said was really mean and she expected an apology, which I ignored again. Our flight out of Atlanta to Denver we weren’t anywhere near each other and she didn’t even respond to my texts about the person I was sitting next to, and hardly said a word to me the ride home and mostly talked to my sister. The whole thing was made worse when the minute we got home they were all FBing each other and making their relationship FB official again and being syrupy. Shes texted me once since we got back like 10 days ago.

This friendship isn’t worth the fuss, obviously. It’s like I’m the moldable, easy-going friend that puts everyone at ease and gives the best advice and is the one you want to go with you to Planned Parenthood and who knows your entire family and is fine painting her toenails in your livingroom in front of your stepdad. But I’m also the one that can be taken advantage of at the drop of a hat and made to feel like a moron whenever you want to bark at me for interrupting, something you’re equally guilty of, and things of that nature. It’s so frustrating. I just feel so used. I could’ve used the $300 I spent on that trip (not that $300 is ANYTHING, it was so cheap, $250 airfare, $45 on a hoody and sweats, and maybe 30 total on food, his rents bought us dinner like every night we went out) for tuition. I had fun, but it’s the kind of fun you have at a family reunion, which is made even more awkward when it isn’t YOUR family’s reunion. That’s the last rant I’ll have about that I guess. It’s over and done and OVER.

In other news. Somehow, between the heat and the sick feeling in my stomach and being generally uncomfortable the entire time I was in Florida, I ate barely anything. That’s NOT a trend for me. I always eat. I could be sick as a dog, and I’ll still figure out a way. So… imagine my surprise when yesterday I weighed myself and I’d crossed the 25 lb threshold by a few pounds! So, I’m down about 28 lbs and that’s HUGE. I only started trying seriously in mid-March, maybe early April. And I haven’t really worked out for almost 3 weeks. It’s just now every thing I put in my mouth is a choice, and I’ve learned to make much better ones. And every little exercise bit I can get in, I do, even if it doesn’t mean going all the way to the gym and sweating. I’m really, insanely proud. Like…beaming. I’m doing it. Every day, no matter what I do, or what happens to me, or what way I go, I’m managing to keep a steady decline in weight and incline in personal growth.

I’ve lost THIS MUCH….:

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Off my body thus far!! Where did it even fit? I’m noticing some little things feeling a bit looser, but not a huge difference just yet. Here’s hoping.