New Years!

I think I might have had this diary since i was like….18.

I’ll be 22 a week from today, actually. I’m an old fart.

These are my resolutions for 2009:

• Lose 100 pounds. If I can lose 75, I’ll be at a healthy weight. 100, and I’ll definitely lose the hot rack, but have an even more smokin body. TOTALLY serious.
• Graduate college by December, or be set up to graduate in only one more semester- Spring of 2010
• Find the perfect shade of red lipstick for my skintone
• Feel like I could love someone, even if I don’t ACTUALLY love them
• Do something wild with my hair
• ROAD TRIP.

I’ve got the worst bug I’ve had in a very long while- I think I might have had strep, I have more congestion in my chest then humanly possible. Some in my head too. I’m pmsing. I’ve got the runs (the kind that make you more mortified then EVER to even feel like you have to rip one) (the word fart is ugly and uncouth), and every morsel of food I put in my mouth makes me feel like instantly heaving. (This is the single worst affliction that could ever affect a fat girl, let me tell you). I started taking a round of antibiotics, and since when you’re fat they give you a gazillion times more meds according to body mass, I’m deathly afraid I’ll catch one of those infections women wouldn’t wish on their worst enemy, so my drug arsenal is currently- 3 amoxicillen 2x a day (to be taken w food), decongestant 5x (to be taken w minimum 10 oz water), some kind of herbal your-body-needs-it-bacteria thing to prevent said wouldnt-wish-on-worst-enemy-infection (not to be taken in near proximity to anything highly acidic), some kind of steroid for my lungs 2x daily, and an arsenal of immodium and stomach fixers. I’m a walking advertisment for what’s wrong w Americans. I better lose weight from this bitch. All I’ve actually digested is a bowl of soup and a salad I ate for breakfast yesterday. This better be a 5lb head-start, Jesus!

Three hours until new year’s, and I still don’t know if I’m going out! What I DO know is that I’m quite literally typing this from the bathroom right now. (I bought myself a new laptop, greatest thing EVER). I’m so attractive it hurts. I’m wearing a club top, a strapless bra (which is the bane of a girl w DD’s existance) and oldass pj pants. I hope I get to go out. Any of my old flings’ll do for tonight, I suppose. HA. Update on that soon enough. Now I’ve got to fight over toilet time with my also-sick sister, and watch the Dog the Bounty Hunter marathon on TV and swoon over the older cuter son who knows how to cut his hair!!!