Good girls go bad!

Alright ladies, here’s the dl- I’ve been SUPER crazy busy, I’ll catch up tonight and note back (I TOTALLY hate when people don’t do that, so I feel bad!) ASAP (ish). Here’s what’s transpired, in bullet form. Which is probably a total waste of time because much like my verbalization, my written things tend to be long-winded and exhausting…..Oh well:

• Firstly, I was told LAST semester that I was not accepted to University of Colorado (for the 2nd time) because they hadn’t received my final transcripts from the CC I went to, and CC wouldn’t send them until I paid them $2500, so I was royally fucked. I planned on re-applying and was told I needed to follow the whole spiel again and re-apply, so I sent my transcripts first this time around so they’d have them definitely. Apparently that’s all they needed because you are now looking at one of the newest University of Colorado transfer students!!!! That’s right, somehow, that little slip of paper was all they needed and they accepted me from LAST semester’s application!!! I meet with an advisor Wed, which is prolly when I’ll next update.

• My dad tells me the state forgives all student loans once you’re tenured into the system at 8 years, so I was planning on law school possibly while already working for them. Well, numerous mothers I’ve worked for have said hey…..you’re great at this medical care…you should be a Physician’s Assistant (PA) since you don’t want to go to school forever. Well wouldn’t you know, the state does the same for THEM and it’s basically a starting pay of almost 6 figures. So guess who’s now pre-Med?!?! Who would’ve thought after all this time thinking I had no future, that I’m going to MEDICAL SCHOOL!?!?! It almost brings tears to my eyes every time I stop and think that some day, I’ll be in MED SCHOOL. I’m so proud of myself this summer I could burst.

• Today, I’m at my friend Nikki’s house, and her BF (who lives with her, works sporadically, kinda lives OFF her, is 38, she’s my age) which is pretty usual. And she leaves to run an errand while we’re watching a movie and he full-in HITS ON ME. Like, "I’ll show you mine if you show me yours" type bs. It all started by him showing me their Vegas pictures and I was on the SD card from before and I was like uhhh, gross, look how different and fatter I look, so he started talking about how good I look now and blah blah. Seriously?! I don’t know what I should do because telling her is absolutely the right thing, but I’m down to two relatively close friends, and she’s had all sorts of fights with him before and just ends up taking him back regardless because he’s got nowhere to go. So then it just causes friction between her and I since he lives there and will undoubtedly be around. I’m torn. It’s not like anything transpired (AND, I should note that they are pretty into the swinging type thing, and I know they’d welcome another girl into the bedroom, they’ve offered as much to me before). I even told my DAD who I NEVER ask for advice from and he said "Yea, lose 40 more lbs and see how lewd men REALLY can be, keep up the good work." And then basically said the same thing, that if it happens again tell her immediately, but not to really freak because it’s not like he tried to rape me and they’ve already kind of made group passes before, if that makes sense.

• I’m up to a total of 30 lbs since end of March lost, 45 since I moved back in with my dad and fam last July. It feels amazing. I’m not losing fast anymore because I’m not working out, being bogged down with school and work. But if it takes me an extra month because I put a grand in savings this one, that’s ok, because all of these things are pointing my life in a direction I so want. I’m working in every way toward my goals. I’m still very careful about what I eat and I’ve had a breakthrough where I’m just NOT immobilizingly hungry anymore and I’m not eating until I feel like dying and some things just don’t taste great anymore. Some days, I only want an apple and some water and that’s FINE and natural and what normal bodies have been experiencing forever. It’s new to me and I love it and I feel like a better person for having the willpower to get and stay here.

• I hung out with my Jewish boy again Wednesday night and it was much-needed. I’m not exactly well-versed in the entire….we’ve been skirting dating for a long time, but don’t, but still hang out and act like we want to…..and try to push that is not my deal. Jesus.

• More later, I’m off to my evening shift, I’m working my usual 7-5’s day shifts and then evenings for different families every night this week! Big spending, hopefully soon, on SCHOOL SUPPLIES!!!!