Unpack your Heart!

Let’s start with some fun!!

So hmmm,  for me, who could sing this to me?  Could He really feel this way towards me?  Or is this how I feel towards another?

Does it matter?  So the days are winding down for Beauty for Ashes, this diary is almost done,  I’m guessing a few weeks..I have the color inking of my tattoo coming in 5 days (not gonna lie its going to be ridiculously painful and i’m dreading it but also excited )…then a few weeks after that the really hard and painful inking (WP,  the chain and symbolism that I haven’t quite even worked out…)   …and then what?  Living..that is what..and I’m so damn excited about what is coming even knowing the pain that I have invited into my life..because I know every day is one day closer to the fulfillment of a promise God made to me…

I’m not going to rush it,  I’m going to organize all my thoughts and put them in order,  to memorialize this in such a way for the keeper** to  be able to make sense for future use…

I am more convinced than ever that I’m in the right and crazy place….my thoughts are all tilted towards care for others…today I really stuck my spiritual neck out,  and I felt almost foolish on  how far out I went but the blessing was that I was actually the answer to their prayers…this is how God really works…I gave them something most precious to me…and I yet I feel like when this precious thing comes back to me it is going to be even more precious and in some ways I think my daughter’s spiritual life will depend on this simple meeting….

I had a friend, actually my best friend, his name was Don Fletcher,  he died from a drug overdose about 2 years ago in a shitty hotel room in South Atlanta,  he died alone on a bathroom floor,  I bailed him out of jail numerous times,  and I called him about once a month,  sometimes more than that..usually we didn’t connect except a couple times a year…part of it was that I just didn’t want to get my hands dirty…addicts don’t fuck around and can see through bullshit like nobody can…

I’m thinking I’m ready to get  to work. to fight!!!..for Don,  and all the other guys and girls like Don…despite the ass-kicking all those I love received last week…despite my own ass being kicked in,  the days and coming weeks I’m going to record stuff that would be a good read if it was fiction but even more, its actual and factual,  it makes Romeo and Juliet look like trash…that God is part of it makes it even more delicious…

When this whole story is done,  I’m hoping that my lines are something like this:

“What took you so long?”  

Bwahhahahha…

Anyways best wishes to all from the warmest and coziest part of the South which is to say the Heart of Beauty for Ashes…

**footnote:  The Keeper is part of an idea of writing a book about the Cats of the Wat Pho in Bangkok,  and there is a “guardian”,  a “keeper”, and a “speaker”   and the Keeper is basically the repository of knowledge and history…