Moving forward from loss, destruction, and death…
In my own life and the lives of those close to me, as well as one of my very Favorite OD’er on this board…I find myself surrounded by an ocean of suffering and pain, most of it inflicted on these unwilling recipients by other peoples pain, rejection, and just general shitty decisions…
The worst part is that we just beat the crap out of ourselves for damage inflicted on us by others…and then sadly we repeat the same mistakes because in our misery and pain we just end up doing stupid things, either consciously or not…the worst part is when we pass on to our children and those we love the same habits and traits…the cycle continues…The bible describes how a man’s sin can be reaped by his children to the 3rd and 4th generation…I have always understood this not as God’s judgement (because I have studied God and His nature is loving not wrathful!) but because it is an principle that we reap what we sow…
But is that really our only option? To just pass on the shittiness to those we love or sometimes even worse swing the pendulum so far the other way we end up passing on another kind of misery?
As for me…I don’t think thats my option..I choose to fight..to rise the fuck up everyday…I recognize that I’ve got some issues that are like weights…traps i’ve stepped in, things that bind me..but like a wolf I will chew my fucking leg off to get out of this trap..before I will pass my shit on to my kids…I’d rather move forward missing my diseased and broken parts then spread that pain around..
This day the sun rose…and it will tomorrow..and the day after..and I choose this day to let go of part of yesterday..just part not all of it!
With Much Warmth and Joy
-Beauty for Ashes!
I saw you on the front page and thought I would read you…I hope you don’t mind, and no I am not one of those weird chicks who just pick people randomly to leave notes.
I use to do really dumb things and then I realized that it was some of the people in my life and realized it was because of them and their thinking. So I got rid of them and got some major help and today whatever issues I have I take one and work on it till it’s gone.
You sound like a really nice guy and I think I want to add you to my list if that is okay with you?
@jaythesmartone
Jay,
Thank you for the note and I always welcome input and thoughts! Like you, when I see something wrong I just pretty much get to work on making things happen to fix it..
Sometimes that means I have to cut pretty deep…
my real weakness is that I sometimes like the pain…
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Love this entry – it is so important to continue to rise up and fight the badness, as you said!
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I love your attitude and could learn a lot from it. I agree those cannot be the only options….but it does take hard, constant work to fight against instinct. Sending thoughts of hope and new perspectives and just general all around badassery your way.
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Excellent post!!
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Good to hear from you again. I had just been thinking that I hadn’t seen you around in awhile.
Keep fighting the good fight!
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