Unapologetically Fuk’d Up
I am 52 years old. I used to be so confident…charismatic…and free minded. Then i gave it all away for the love of one man. The moment I gave myself to him was the moment I lost all peace n became infected with chaos n toxic behaviors. I settled for what he wanted even tho its not what i wanted or deserved. He peeled me like an orange and then tossed me away like my heart didnt matter. Attacking my mental n emotional for 4748.25 days of my life n I allowed him too because I loved him so much more than I loved myself. Its crazy how so many women disolve over the love they give just to be loved in return.
And we usually pick the wrong one to love. We go hard for a man who would not lift a finger for us in return. We were born to be a man strength instead of our own. I learned a very hard n painful lesson and today is number 5 of the struggle to stay gone from his life.
He stripped me of everything emotionally and mentally and I’m just trying to hold onto the hate from the things he put me thru just because I loved him unconditionally. I’m trying like hell to get to day number 6 of no contact with the man who broke me.
I’m struggling but the anger…disappointments…n processing the lies he told just to steal my years has hit hard to my very core. It has tore me to shreds but I’m still standing.
Come on Day 6 so I can get to Day 7, 8, 9, 60 faster.
This is what broken looks like.
This is what healing looks like too.
He may have taken my years but he didn’t get all of my determination to live!
Shawing…Batter Up 🏏
So sorry this happened to you; what will your next life look like?
@ravdiablo my next life looks like a healing journey to loving myself and being at peace. That’s what it looks like. 🙏
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I dont get it. Maybe because im a man but why stay with him? What was there to love? Surely you must know its not that hard for someone like you to find someone.
@heston I wish I could explain but there is nothing I can come up with. I learned valuable lessons. N I will never love another to the point of breaking myself again.
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You are very pretty and sound very nice. No man should ever do that! If they do, do what I did to my last ex, I trashed his apartment, thought about swiping his N64, and took his bottle of soda! NO MAN IS GOING TO UNDERMINE ME ANY LONGER. Neither should you.
@appleblossomgirl
All of his other females will just replace anything I destroy so my tactic is silence. I blocked him n I left it at that. Him not being able to talk to me is fuckin with him. I don’t want or need closure because his disrespect was closure enough for me. But he needs a reason why from me on why I walked away even tho he fuckin knows what he did…it’s fuckin with him that I won’t respond to his phone calls or texts. N like I told him…I hope ur insides rott with guilt but probably not cuz he has so many other women to occupy his time to be alone. Me…I’m choosing to be alone so I don’t hurt somebody else because he hurt me.
@beautifullytwisted Ahh.. the whore brigade eh? Well, they say silence is golden non? And as my friend M said once “Lifetime loser, wannabe a man, in your face and I don’t give a damn!!”
@appleblossomgirl
He’s just not grown at 49…he wasn’t ready for a woman like me. I was just the one who didn’t shut the fuck up. So dealing with me is too much because I have goals n I expect u to stand on ur shit! N even tho I stayed for all of these years…I’m positive he’s going to learn some kind of lesson. Maybe it won’t stop him from spreading his semen every where but it’s going to effect him because I’m a good woman with dope energy n he lost a good person out his life. I’m not too worried about it. It’s his storm not mine no more.
@beautifullytwisted 49? That’s how old I am! You are stronger than this woman. You’ve got this in the bag!
@appleblossomgirl
Why I certainly do darlin n Ty for thinking so too 💓 🤗
@beautifullytwisted I do! 😀
@appleblossomgirl 🤗🥰
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