To Be Hurt

I just realized why I do it.
I choose to be with guys that use me, because, they can’t hurt me.
I know they just want me for sex, I don’t have further expectations from them. I don’t have to worry about whether or not they love me, I know they don’t give a fuck about me. So when they don’t call, and they don’t do nice things for me, and they don’t want to spend time with me – it doesn’t matter! Because I don’t expect those things from them.
I can’t be hurt by them because I’m not vulnerable to them.

I’m afraid of being with a guy that treats me right because I’ll have those expectations of him (and he will eventually let me down), and when he decides he no longer loves me – I’m going to get hurt.

I’d rather be with someone I know will leave me than be vulnerable to someone who might not.