Things I Do Not Like At All

*Being so anxious (even in an excited way) that it makes you sick to your stomach

*When you worry & you know it’s irrational and unwarranted, but you can’t stop

*When you have to sneeze while you’re driving

*When a police car is tailgating you

*How you can never get your eyeliner to look exactly the same on both eyes

*When your eyeliner/mascara is smudged and no one tells you

*Those days that look all bright & sunshiney like a warm summer day, but are actually cold as fuck

*Turning the radio on just as a song you actually like is ending

*When a movie is so incredibly terrible, but you have to finish watching it because you still feel the need to know how it ends

*Having the price of gas drastically drop the day after you fill up at an unconscionable price…or to pass a gas station with significantly cheaper prices after filling up at the unconscionable price

*When you’re sick and you start coughing, in public, so hard you legitimately can’t stop

*When you fall in love with a piece of clothing at the store – but it looks awful when you try it on

*Wearing winter coats…they’re great for keeping you warm and everything – from the house to the car…but then you’re miserably uncomfortable and overly warm in the car, and if you take it off then you just have to put it back on when you get out of the car…and then you just have to carry it around with you everywhere.

*And, umbrellas! You spend more time trying to maneuver in and out of the car with that thing, and it doesn’t even keep you dry.

*When you buy the warranty and the damn thing survives Y2K and May 21, 2011…but when you don’t, something happens within the first 2 weeks.

*When your shirts start to wear and the seams on the sides somehow cease to actually be on the side anymore (do you know what I’m talking about?! I HATE that!)

*Static electricity

*When you know you know something, but you just can’t think of it.

*Ridiculously complicated packaging; what is with that plastic that takes industrial strength scissors to cut through? I just want my fucking Venus razor damnit! (or, whatever)

*Legumes, most if not all of them

*Vinegar

*The color orange