The Break-up : In continuation

I don’t regret the decision I made to [attempt to] be “the perfect girlfriend”; I didn’t mean to imply that I changed myself to be exactly what he wanted me to be – I didn’t change me, I didn’t change who I am just so he would like me, I wasn’t any less “myself”…I just changed my attitude. I avoided a lot of pointless arguments by not being that girl. In the end, what would it have changed had I acted out?
I chose to put his needs before mine. And I do realize that in doing so, and by refusing to be that girl, I just ended up being another type.
But honestly, I wouldn’t change it. Because that’s what I believe a committed relationship is about – loving someone, unconditionally, and selflessly putting their needs before your own, putting them first.
I chose to do that.
But he couldn’t do that for me. And THAT was the source of the problem.

I also didn’t mean to imply that I never expressed my feelings to him.
Because I also believe that a committed relationship is about communicating, and being completely open and honest, period.
So it’s not that I didn’t tell him how I felt.
I did. Just, prudently, maybe not as often or as adamantly as I should have.
You have to pick your battles.
Of course, I played Switzerland, so there never were battles.
I told him how I felt. Not how HE made me feel.
I couldn’t imply that he had done anything wrong.

I did break down, once. I was that girl, once.
I’d put on lingerie (lingerie that HE had bought me) one night in an attempt to get him excited – a failed attempt; he said to me, and I quote “why are you wearing that?” and got in bed, facing away from me. I got up and went to the living room to cry because I didn’t want him to know I was crying; he came out and told me that I was being selfish, to stop trying to get attention, trying to make everything about me, and that if I was going to stay up and cry and have a pity party for myself, that was fine, but he was going to sleep.