The Break-up

I never wanted to be that girl; I never wanted there to be anything about me that he would complain about to his friends.
I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend – the one that, when his friends were complaining about their own girlfriends, would say “why can’t [my girlfriend] be more like her?!”.

I didn’t want him to ever relate me to those infamous adjectives (like controlling, insecure, jealous, needy, clingy, nagging).
I was so afraid to tell him when he was being a jerk, because I knew he would think those things of ME, when HE was the one being the jerk.

So I let him get away with murder.

He would go out to the city with his friends til 1 or 2 in the morning.
Which is fine.
But when I wanted sex at 10 o clock at night, we couldn’t – he needed to get some sleep; he had to be up at 6 in the morning.
What am I suppose to say to that? Anything other than “you’re right, let’s just go to sleep”, is selfish – if I say anything else, I am that girl, the one that makes everything about her.
And if I bring up the anomaly of how he could stay up til 2 in the morning to sit at a bar with his friends, but he couldn’t stay up til 11 to fuck his girlfriend – then I’m being controlling and needy; I’m that girl, the one that can’t ever let her boyfriend just hang out with his friends without throwing a tantrum.
But honestly, I am not that girl; I just didn’t understand how he could make time for his friends…but not for me. How is that suppose to make me feel?

How was it suppose to make me feel that my boyfriend refused to fuck me?
OF COURSE it made me insecure.
But I couldn’t say anything.

just curious, but why is sex so important to you?

I’m not one who supports pre-marital sex or anything, but it does seem a little suspicious. This may sound cliche, but it’s not you, it’s him. He could either be cheating on you…or he is gay. Honestly, that is the only two conclusions I can come up with with what you have written in this entry. It is highly unlikely a guy would turn down sex because he has to work in the morning.

Saw u in the front page… I have the EXACT same problem, had it tonight, have had it for a while, and I have this problem with my HUSBAND. I totally understand how u feel cuz I’m attractive and I’m actually a great **** LOL, HONEST! But I feel unattractive and old and horrible… plus the emotional emptiness to deal with his selfishness and not say anything cuz HE has to work. What-friggin-ever!

you can’t let him walk all over you either. there’s a compromise. in not wanting to be that girl, you’ve let him just walk all over you, you’re the other type of “that girl”.

To be blunt, you’re going to just have to say something. I know that you don’t want to be *that* girl, and I have a lot of respect for that.. But don’t spend some time trying to respect his needs and wants that you forget that you’re a human with needs and wants of your own. If he deserves you then he’ll listen to what you have to say without judging you. And if he doesn’t listen. Maybe it’s

[contd] maybe it’s not that you’re *that* girl.. Maybe it’s that he is *that* guy.

maybe you should care more about what HE thinks of you …as opposed to what his friends think and wanting to be some super girlfriend/goddess in the eyes of the world….or at least his circle of friends. As for f*cking..being a cute naked girl and being a “good f*ck” does not guarantee any particular man will want to f*ck you..even if he is technically your current boyfriend.

there are a lot of cute girls in the world and ALL of us girls wether we are cute or not..have the ability to get naked.

Nothing… If it was this once, maybe he was just tired. If it’s all the time, well..maybe he’s gay or, worse, not that into you. I hope it works

Honestly, I haven’t a clue. Glad someone else has problems like I do. You know, kick his ass. I truly understand.

Hmm, to a different degree, I know how you feel. I am a very insecure person myself. Very paranoid, also.

Sometimes guys just don’t make any sense. I feel your pain. What I have learned from my relationship is, it is okay to state your needs. And if he can’t deal with that, then HE is the selfish one.

I want to be the nice girl for my bf too. Just a bit change is ok but try to be yourself is better. Good luck.

Gay is the only reason that I could come up with for a man to turn down a half naked girl asking for sex