Starbucks Boy

I am going out with Starbucks boy this evening.
I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t.
I need to just get over him. Move on.
But HE contacted me. HE wanted to see me.

But I need to get him out of my system.
And yes, given the chance, I would do anything with him – this time.
That makes me a horrible person and I realize that.
But I’ve walked away from him so many times because I was too scared to act on my emotions. And I dwell on the fact that I could have had him, and didn’t.
I just want to be able to just put all of this behind me and say, okay, now I know.

I don’t expect anything to come of it. If it does, that would be awesome, I think…but at the same time, if it doesn’t, we’ll go on like we always have.

At least I will know what it’s like. And I won’t have this image of perfection burned into my soul making me itch for him constantly. Maybe I’ll realize he’s just like everyone else, we are just like everyone else, nothing special.

Except. What if I’m right. HE said it himself.
And what if still nothing comes of it, how much harder would that be?

I just keep telling myself – at least I’ll know.