Starbucks Boy
I was at Starbucks.
Talking to one of the guys that works there (Andre) – we’ve “known” eachother for quite awhile, but never had much of a “real” conversation; he had just gotten off work and had come over to sit with me…and then another guy (Mike), who also works there, whom I’ve never even seen before, joined us.
So there we were, the three of us, all sitting in the corner bench…for a few minutes, until Andre had to leave for an appointment of some sort.
Leaving Mike and I alone.
Complete strangers.
I put his arm around me. & Somehow it wasn’t awkward.
We cuddled and talked for hours.
Until I had to go to class.
I could have stayed there all day.
thank you for knowing that. even if you don’t understand why (because i don’t), you know i would have said yes. i’m leaving it up to him, but you know, i probably won’t say no even if he gives me the chance. it’s a fatal flaw in my system.
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You’re not a whore and I’m extremely proud of you for knowing that it doesn’t matter what situation (sinful or not) that you’re in, God wants you to pray to him and ask for help. He wants to know you need him, and it makes him happy. I know this, and I’m never afraid to pray even when I’m in an awful situation. He will always forgive you, and help you. By the way, thanks for your note 🙂
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hmm in that case i must apologise, so it isn’t boredom but what you say is your complete inability to say no… hmm but surely that doesn’t extend to any and everything does it? tho i wonder why it shouldn’t so be the case(assuming you really do suffer from said inability) because you urself consider your behaviour to have been wrong and sinful, and you obviously didn’t want it,but still
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you did it anyway. hmm i wonder where such behaviour (a consequence of this inability of yours) might lead you to; the obvious extrapolated scenario being that you might just end up with more than a few std’s before long.
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oh and i would ask you why you called it a sin in the first place (i probably wouldn’t consider it one) but i doubt if i’ll be checking back any time soon to see your reply.
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you seem pretty confident, oh well good for you. but if i was like this: “I am incapable of saying no to them. Literally. Incapable.” i definitely wouldn’t be so confident. but like i said good for you take care ps: tho i wonder if you really are that certain about it, maybe u really aren’t all that incapable of saying “no”
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ok, so you agree you can say no and that you don’t really have an inability, but then why didn’t you? you just wrote a whole entry stating that the reason why you slept with him, to the best of your knowledge, was that you are somehow incapable of refusing: “But the true reason is somewhat inexplicable, and degrading. See, I can’t say no.”
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and when i said “confident” i was merely pointing to the faith you seem to have in your ability to take control of your life and not let it go astray; despite the above entry which, ironically, would question the basis of any such claim on your part.
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what matters more is not whether you can explain the reason or not, but whether you know what the reason is. gnite
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It’s good to recognize your behaviour. Dude, I met my boyfriend at Starbucks too! it was really weird, but we’ve been together two years. So clearly not that weird.
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