Reiterated

I think the truth of the matter is,
the thing I’m most afraid of, is,
that if I give him this “ultimatum”
(I know that’s not exactly what it is, but it’s what it seems like to me)
that if we’re having sex, we have to be dating – or if we’re just friends, we aren’t going to be having sex…

that he won’t want to date me, not even just for the sex.
That if he can’t just fuck me, he won’t have any interest in me at all.

I’m already insecure and I already feel like I’m never enough like I’m worthless…
I don’t want to have it thrown in my face again.

So sometimes I would rather just fuck around, because at least then I feel like I’m good for something.