Jenn
Tomorrow I am meeting with Jenn.
My intentions, are always to be completely honest and no-holds-barred…but I cannot seem to let the wall down – I’m not talking about the wall between me and other people, I’m talking about the wall between me and myself. The one that keeps me safely on the other side, protected from my own emotions; I have dissociated myself so far from it all that it is hard for me to take claim of my feelings and the effects things have/have had on me. I speak as if I don’t even hear the words that are coming out of my mouth, as if these things aren’t real, as if I have nothing to do with them. They are just words to me.
Just words.
Maybe tomorrow they will be more.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll let them be real. And mine.
It is hard to let that wall down and it hurts when you do. It hurts me every time, again and again, but it also helps. Take care,
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That is truly nearly always the hardest part…so very uncomfortable.
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I’m sorry 🙁 I hope things work out, and the two halves make peace and become one.
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