dreams

I don’t think I’ve ever dreamed of him before – but last night I dreamt I was in a house, with my girls, sitting at a table…and he was pacing back and forth outside the window, staring at me; I stood up and pushed my girls behind me, holding onto each of them on either side, as I repeatedly screamed at him to get away. The creepiest part is that he wasn’t pulled out of my memory exactly as he was – he didn’t look the same, he’d aged.

I could psychoanalyze it but it’s just a bit much for me to process right now.

I’ve felt like a chaotic, out of control mess for the past couple weeks – my hormones are doing their own thing and it’s been a nightmare; I think everything is finally evening back out tho, so hopefully I’ll get back to feeling okay/in control again soon…because this hormonal nonsense is just more than I can do, it’s just not “me” – I just want to feel like myself again & I feel like most of this year I’ve just felt so off.

My therapist recommended I see a nutritionist. He made a referral and sent my info to her…I emailed her today – not that I have any intention of seeing her, but I don’t know, I guess I’m not totally against it either. Maybe just moreso curious what I could/would get out of it. I told her I wasn’t sure I even really qualified as needing help, but that any information about her processes would be helpful in making a decision to actually schedule an appointment. We’ll see.