Alicia

I realized today that subconsciously, I never expected Alicia to actually come see me. Not because SHE has ever blown me off before, but because everyone else forever does. I expected her to put it off, and put it off, and then come up with an excuse not to come. And if she did come, it would be at the last minute and she’d only stay for like an entirety of 24 hours. This is what I have come to just expect out of people, I don’t even bother believing them when they say they want to spend time with me, I don’t expect anything to ever come of it.

But we were driving home this evening and I asked her what time she’d be leaving tomorrow and she said, “when you kick me out”.
I figured she’d want to leave as early as possible, because that’s what everyone else does, but instead she told me she wanted to stay as long as possible. And it blew my mind.
I realized that I have come to expect people to treat me like shit, even the people that I know care about me, because it happens all so much.