08/23/2010

I’m laying in bed, staring at this blank screen, watching the battery on my laptop die minute by minute.
Thinking to myself.
I’d rather be naked in someone else’s bed.

I really just want to fuck with someone’s head. Manipulate them.
I want someone to show an interest in me.
And I guess ultimately I want to be able to fuck them over just to make myself feel like I’m better than them, that I can throw them away as if they’re nothing to me. Reject someone else so I feel better about myself. Because I’ve been thrown away so many times that it’s hard to feel worth anything without going through this whole fucked up process of doing it to someone else.
(of course I am not actually capable of doing any of it, I’m all talk)

Honestly. What have I become.