Right here, right now

So it’s been a while since I did a proper entry on here..  so here it is…

Despite the snow and Ice I made it in to work today..  wish I hadn’t bothered  of course but there ya go..

So I’m still working in the same place I have for the last decade (sounds awful when you put it like that) and I’m still living with my ex..

Recently he’s been a right asshole with his sodding awful grumpy moods !!   I kinda wanna leave and get my own place and start again but on the other hand, we have a nice house, a dog and usually he’s in an ok mood (with the odd occasional mood swing) but it does make meeting new people a little awkward….

We split up over a year ago and I’ve not been on one single date…..  recently though I’ve been asked on a date by somebody i knew before i met my ex and is somebody I’d quite happily go on a date with but I feel weird saying yes (so I haven’t yet)…… 

I broke off the relationship and I guess I was waiting for him to go and start meeting other people before I did but he hasn’t yet but not because he thinks we’re going to work out or anything but he’s had back problems so hasnt bothered.. 

I told him about my possible date and he said why don’t i go on it but I know I he didn’t really mean it..  and if I do go on a date it could make our living arrangement a little awkward..  which i don’t want to do as it can be a little fragile from time to time anyway…

I know this is a little selfish but part of the reason I don’t want to rock the boat to much now  is cos we have a nice holiday planned for September this year which I’m really looking forward too and if we end up going our separate ways now it won’t happen (we already had to cancel a big holiday due to his back accident last year anyway)

It’s a weird situtation…..

Not sure what to do for the best !!   🙁