Wednesday 11/15/23
4:43a.m. I had one hell of a night. I wasn’t changed at all. I lied in urine and feces from supper until they got me out of bed. I also had arthritis pain and muscle spasms. I hardly slept and had very bad dreams. I was too damned upset to be pissed. I just laid in my own filth.
I wonder a lot what I must of done in my early years to deserve this treatment. I’m a firm believer in karma. what goes around comes around. I must of done some really bad shit because I think this is pay back time. I’m being paid back for all the nasty shit I did in my life.
I’m tired. I’m tired of everything. I was thinking last night I would like to die. If I have to spend the rest of my life like this death might be an option. But I’m too scared of going to hell. So I will endure the pain, the humiliation, the mistreatment for as long as I can. I will not do anything stupid.
7: 10a.m. I was very depressed and upset earlier. I got a couple hours sleep. That restored my spirits. Then I had my morning coffee and orange juice. I feel a lot better. I talked with Chococolatechip. She said the next time that happens call 911. I was in a serious situation. They would get me out on f that place asp. I said I woul do that. The. I said I don’t know about going to another shit hole of a nursing home. All places are bad
The care might suck but at least the food is good I just had breakfast. They served a sweat roll, scrambled eggs and oatmeal and. I ate it all. Breakfast cheered me up some.
As far as complaining goes I did complain. I called APS about a million times. Chococolatechip said they pay them hush money. I can believe it. I called the ombudsman several times. I complained to anyone who would listen. I get very little feedback and nothing changes. I even called 911 one time. I do not know what else can be done.
9:10a.m. I’m in the Fiesta Room where they have the Coffee Social. I sure could use a cup. I feel more like my old self after that good breakfast and coffee. I hope I can get a couple more cups today. I need the extra caffeine to fully restore my spirits. A good shot of whiskey would also help but I no longer drink alcohol.
I hope to get back to reading Wind Through the Keyhole by Stephen King I didn’t read yesterday. I was just too tired and upset to concentrate on a book. I hope to make up for lost time. Life is good!
11:55a.m. I ended up having a good morning I had a good time at the Coffee Social. I had two cups. I started to read my book and read for an hour. Then I made my way back to my room. I continued to read Wind Through the Keyhole. I sort of got lost in the story and forgot about the ordeal I went through the last couple of days.
I’m looking forward to lunch. They are serving BBQ pulled pork, seasoned potato wedges and homemade peanut butter cookies. I already had my drinks, another coffee and a fruit punch. I am hungry and I love pork. I’ll probably eat it all.
7:24p.m. The afternoon didn’t go very well. I had a massive incontinence episode after lunch. I needed my briefs changed but didn’t get help until 4pm. Chococolatechip had to call the nursing home. She told the nurse and they soon came to my room with the Hoyer to put me to bed.
I thanked Chococolatechip for making the call. I said it seems I have to fight for help every day. I also said how I sat in urine for two hours. I went to the nurse’s station and complained. That didn’t do any good but one phone call did the trick. Then I said to should be getting the help on a regular basis . I haven’t been changed in twelve hours. It shouldn’t have to be like this but the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
So I was in bed by four. I talked with Chococolatechip on the phone. We had an good time. She talked about her trip to Krogers. She Ran into her cm and got a ride home. Chococolatechip was glad she didn’t wait for the bus. I also read my book The Wind Through the Keyhole by Stephen King.
I didn’t eat supper. I drank a glass of fruit punch which made me very bloated. I wasn’t very hungry anyways because I had a big lunch and breakfast. I talked a little bit to Chococolatechip. She was tired so we cut it short for the night. I went back to my book and
I read for about an hour. I’m proud of myself for doing a lot of reading today. I read about fifty pages in my book and I’m not done yet. I’ll probably read until nine o’clock or until the battery runs low.
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