Tuesday 4/19/22

10:53am They just got me out of bed and into my wheelchair. This is the first time I’ve been out of bed even in five days. I slept a lot during that time. I still feel very tired and weak. I would like to crawl back in bed. But I can’t sleep all the time. There are too many books read.

Also, I am starting to eat solid food. I ate two slices of toast for breakfast. I ate a few bites of scrambled eggs and some hot cereal. That was all I could stomach. I’m having a big lunch of roast pork,mashed potatoes. Peas. A dinner roll and jello for desert. I’ll try to get some of it down but will not be able to eat it all. I just do not have much of an appetite.

I talked with Chocolatechip this morning. We had a nice talk about different things. She wag going on about her birth. Elaine told her she was delivered by an Army core man. Also the umbilical cord was rapper around her knock. She had a very difficult birth. This could explain some of her medical problems. Then we talked about how she is getting along better with her daughters. Her oldest daughter is not as judgmental.

We talked about my family. Chocolatechip said she thanked my Niece for praying for me. Chocolatechip also asked if anyone called or  visited. I said hell  no she said that is a shame. They should of at least called. In fact, nobody has ever visited me since I been in the Home.

I also talked with someone from physical therapy today. I’m glad I’m going back to exercising a bit. He said they will send someone to my room for occupational and  physical therapy. I said good. I hope it will be after lunch.

I’m having a good morning all in all. I’m not in too much pain and experiencing very few incontinence episodes. I’m in a fairly good mood because they got me sitting in my wheelchair. I’m starting to eat solids again, if ever so slowly. Then I’m going to be doing some exercises for while which is always a good thing. This is going to be a great day.

2:45pm I got some solid food inside me. I ate the pork with mashed potatoes and gravy. I started to feel better a tad bit nauseated.  I couldn’t finish all my lunch. I tried to drink the coffee but it got too cold. This was the first solid meal I had in five days.

I had physical therapy after lunch. It didn’t go very well. They wanted me to stand and walk a bit. It took two people and a walker to get me on my useless legs. Then they wanted to take a few steps. I just couldn’t do it and had to sit back down. I also failed at stretching my arms and leg kicking. I couldn’t do those either without causing a lot of pain. They said they will help build up my strength.

I was glad to get back to my room. Chocolatechip called me. We had a nice long conversation about different things. I told her about PT. She talked to about her appointment with the neurologist tomorrow. After th at she talked about her fist husband Ed. Ed and Chocolatechip had joint custody with her fist husband. Debbie didn’t want me in the picture at all I was lucky to get visitation rights. Chocolatechip said I bet Debbie didn’t raise Allison. I said I had to deal with the monster in law to see my daughter.

Chocolatechip talked about this tv show I think it was Kelly Clarkson. Anyway tat person let her ex  adapt all her children. I could never do that said  Chocolatechip. I couldn’t either I said. She said the only reason Debbie kept our daughter was to hurt me. I said you are right about that.

We talked about other things as well. I think we talked about the asshole Wayne.She said he would like to come down but she doesn’t want his bed bugs. I said good for you. I think she said somebody knocked on her door twice. That shit has been going on for so long now she doesn’t give it a a second thought.

Well, afternoon is going well. I have nothing to complain about. Life is good.

7:24 pm Everything was going good until I opened my Barnes and Noble app. I found out that I could no longer purchase ebooks and download them on this device. I do not understand why I’m having this issue. I spent a lot of time trying to figure this out but to no avail. Needless to say I was mad and very upset. Then I said to myself I can’t make myself sick over this issue or my ulcers will get worse. I’ll try to figure it out tomorrow.

In the meantime I have plenty of books to read. If I can’t resolve this issue I’ll just get an Amazon Kindle. I think this is a pretty shitty thing to do to a very loyal customer. In the meantime I will enjoy the books I have. But I probably will never buy anything from B&N again.

Dinner consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich. It came with tater tots but I couldn’t get them down. The coffee was hot and I drank it. I also had a fruit punch and a peach cobbler for desert. Desert was good.

Chatted with Chocolatechip for a little bit on messenger. We didn’t talk long. She wanted to go to bed early and get up at four. She has two Drs appt tomorrow. Said she felt a bit overwhelmed. She did say they caught the guy who stole the 20k scooter. The owner doesn’t want to press charges. After that we said our goodbyes and I ate my dinner.

I went back to my books after dinner. I decided that I needed something different from another Franklin Roosevelt bio. I started listening to The President is Missing by James Patterson and Bill Clinton. It is about time a cyber terrorist attack that only the President can stop. Sounds like a very good book .

9:37pm It took me awhile but I found out the answer to my problem. I called B&N technical support. They told me that there was a change  in policy. I will have to purchase books from the website. They gave me a reason in tech language I didn’t understand. Anyways this new method is sounds a bit complicated and their web page doesn’t work well on this device. Right away was thinking maybe it is time for a change.

I went to Amazon and found a Kindle for $154 something. I figured out the budget and it is more than affordable. I should have $171 something left over. I think a new Kindle is in order. Once again I feel like a fool for wasting his money. But this is a must have for me. I look at it as an investment for a and not the a waste of money. Besides, I have nothing else to spend my money on. If buying e-readers and ebooks make me a fool then so be it. I freely admit I’m a fool.

I was also listening the President is Missing. But I was kind of upset and couldn’t concentrate. From what I learned the President is confronted with an very grave threat to our  national security. Only be can stop itm up to chapter nine in the book but will have to read further in any case from want I was able o understand I found very interesting and enjoyable..

It is ten now I’m ready to go to bed I hope they put me to bed soon.

11:34pm I was in bed by eleven. I can’t  sleep though. I’m too wound up about e-readers and tablets. I can’t get those damned things out of my mind. A normal manbwoul just say forget about it . One, I have books coming out of my butt. Two I can’t afford a new book. There is nothing I can do until I get my SS check. I should just put these thoughts out of my head and get some rest.

But I am not s normal man. I will obsess and obsess over these thoughts until I’m a candidate for Sharpe. I will fret and worry over what is essentially nothing. My ulcers will get worse and worse. I will end up in the hospital again. No I’m not going to let this happen. Fuck Barns and Noble. Peace of mind, mental stability is far more important. I don’t need this shit. I need mental stability. Obsessing over nothing will not help.

So I’m lying in bed trying to defuse. I want to be ready for PT tomorrow. For this I need sleep. I hope I need to calm myself. But how to do this when thoughts are racing a mile a minute.