Tuesday 3/29/22

8:00am My night sucked. I didn’t get put in bed until after 11. That was partly my fault because I asked to stay up.what wasn’t my fault was  the complete lack of care after a bad bout of diahrrea. I laid in urine and shit half the night. Then they didn’t clean me up until after breakfast. I was so mad and upset by then.

I told her something has got to change or I want in a different facility.. I told her about my night and I was pretty upset. She was sympathetic. I told her about the diahrrea and incontinence episodes. I said this diahrrea has been an ongoing problem. I’m need to be on some kind of med. She said she will talk to somebody about it and send her down for a talk. The last thing she said was we will find you some place.

I really do not want to move. All I want is for them to treat me for the incontinence and diahrrea episodes? I would also like for them to stop making me feel like it is my fault. I was still am, pretty mad and upset about this. I doubt anything wii be done about it. I’ll probably end up in someplace far worse.

Here I go with the glass half empty thinking. I can’t help it because things do look pretty bleak. Based on my experiences with nursing homes is they are all bad. My parents were in the Weirton Geriatric Center and they got bad treatment there at times.  I don’t know about going over to Ohio. I do not think my negative thinking is too far to off base. I’m in a pretty shitty situation and I don’t think it is getting any better.

11:53am I did talk with someone. They asked me what went on last night? I said I had very bad incontinence and diahrrea episodes. She came to change me the first time. J honestly do no remember pressing the call light other other times. I said I laid in shit half the night and was very upset. Nothing was said about moving.  She said they will look into the matter. I doubt if anything will change.

Then I had an incontinence episode. I got it everywhere. I pressed the call light. Eventually an aid answered. I told her I needed changed. She turned off the light and walked away. I started to get mad again?. I pressed the call light again and this time got the help I needed? I was nice to the aid but I was thinking what the hell kind of place is this?

I am not having a good morning. I’m having pain in my belly again. Pain is very sharp and a four on a one to five scale. Also feel pretty tired. I managed to get some much.needed sleep but still feel like road kill. This was a day where I wished I was back at OT, in my old apartment lying in my own urine and filth. It is that bad.

.2:16pm I had a good lunch of roast pork with mashed potatoes and gravy and peas.  I also had a dinner roll and jello for desert. I had two cups of hot coffee and a glass of fruit punch. It was pretty good and I ate it all. I feel somewhat better after a good meal. Also, my belly pain is gone. This makes me feel a lot better. But I still have the same ole problem with peeing myself.

I just had an episode. The same shit happens. An aid will answer the call light. I tell her I need changed. She turned it off and walked away. Another aid came. She said I will have to give her a minute. Ok it’s not like I have an important meeting to attend. In the mean time I’m sitting in my urine. I don’t know how long this person will be. It could be anywhere between five minutes and two hrs. I’ll just have to wait.

The longer I wait the madder I’m getting. In my book this is neglect and abuse. There is no excuse. Perhaps it’s because I!m starting to complain to the higher ups and they are giving me a hard time for speaking up. I don’t know. All I know is I feel I’m not being treated right. This shit has got to stop but I’m powerless to stop it. Then I honestly think complaining makes it worse. I’ve had it is all I know. I pressed the call light ten , fifteen minutes ago and no help. There is no gd excuse! Why can’t I get the same kind of care as everyone else?

I had a shitty night and a very shitty day. I can’t wait till I go to bed. Starting to feel depressed again.Is getting changed everytime you have an accident too much to ask?

6:29pm I finished supper. It was lousy. I had a grilled cheese sandwich, tater tots and cold tomato soup. I could only eat the sandwich. Lousy supper was the end of a lousy day.

I hope I get to bed early Something tells me I will be up past eleven. I was in my chair almost till midnight last night.  Why should tonight be any different?